My, how politics can change in a mere 24 hours. We’ve known for ages that we can’t trust Rudd and now we know we can’t trust Abbott after his dismal performance on the 7.30 Report last night. It looks like they’re each others greatest asset for the campaign.
But me, I’m my own greatest asset for my campaign.
You see, unlike Rudd who you can’t trust whether scripted or unscripted, and Abbott who you can’t trust unless it’s scripted, I can be trusted at all times whether I’m speaking off my cuff or off a script that Susan’s written for me. I speak from the heart and the ability to lie is not even in my DMA. Politics is about representing people and honouring the trust they’ve put in you to represent them, and every single Victorian who voted for me trusts me not to lie.
Unless a lie is necessary and honourable, which sometimes it is. So I’ll lie when it’s necessary.
You see, my father always told me to tell the truth unless by telling a lie you can do a greater good or tell a greater truth. So, for example, when I went on my self-funded trip to the USA to investigate all of the both sides of the climate change story and only really investigated one of the both sides of the climate change story, I told everyone that I had investigated all of the them because it was really important that the results of my investigation were taken seriously. I told a little lie but it was for a greater truth.
And when I backflipped on my support for the alcopops tax I told everyone it was because I had decided it was no longer a good policy, when actually I changed my mind because I wanted everyone to keep paying attention to me. This was a justifiable lie because the greater good was my continued presence in the Australian Parliament to offset the self-interested major Parties.
Even the word “family” in my Party’s title is okay because our members’ religion’s ideals align perfectly with the ideals held true by their families. And an R-word doesn’t alliterate as nicely with “First” as an F-word.
With Steve Fielding, you know that you can always trust what I say as the truth, and even if it’s not the truth it’s a lie that’s better than the truth. With Steve Fielding, you know that you don’t have to check to see if I’m reading a script to know if I’m worth listening to. With Steve Fielding, you know that I always put my cards on the table, show my hands, and bargain in good faith.
And that’s the Gospel Truth.
Until next time.