Posts Tagged shit

Vodafone should swap cool for helpful

Vodafone elebrates the average number of seconds it takes to get to one of its call centre operators.

Vodafone celebrates the average number of seconds it takes to get through to one of its call centre operators.

A very common theme on Twitter is people’s gripes with Vodafone’s customer service or lack of it. For example this tweet by @agreencow: I’m currently on hold to Vodafone for 35 mins. Ironically the longest call possible so far before loss of service.

It reminded me of a time when I was with Vodafone in the mid 2000s. Yes, I was taken in by the hype and coolness of it all. I was impressed with their funky ads and relationships with global sporting bohemoths like Manchester United, Ferrari F1 team and the Western Bulldogs.

As a journo I was invited to a Vodafone lunch at the fancy Botanical restaurant in South Yarra, where lovely PR girls named Sarah and Kylie showed me the latest Sony Ericsson  phone complete with MMS, WAP and polyphonic ringtones including a really cool one that made your ultrafunky handset sound like an olden days telephone!

Through less than journalistically ethical means I acquired one of these phones, which were the iPhone of their day – albeit with a better phone signal. Then one day I couldn’t send SMS so I called Vodafone for assiatance. I was put on hold where some really cool chick told me that my call was important in a way that sounded like if I continued to hold I may get sex.

I was at work and starting to get a little impatient when I fnally got hold of someone to help me.

Trent the Operator (in a sickingly upbeat groovy voice: “Hi it’s Trent here, how can I help you today?”

Me: “Finally! Hello Trent I can’t send text messages from my phone. When I try I get a message saying ‘unable to send SMS’.”

Trent: “OK, I can help you with that. Are you on your phone now?”

Me: “Yes, because calls to Vodafone are free from this phone”

Trent: “Oh OK, we’ll have to go through your settings so can you call me from a landline.”

Me: “Uhm OK. I was on hold for 40 minutes, will I be put on hold again?”

Trent: “No, call this number (reads out number) and you’ll come to the call centre direct and ask for me.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Trent: “Yep, speak to you soon.”

So I called the number.

Really cool recorded chick: “Hi welcome to Vodafone, if you’re calling … ”

That’s when I (and a person who frequents this blog can verify this) threw my telephone at the wall making a frightful bang while yelling out “fuck you Vodafone I’m going back to fucking Telstra!”

Which I did, that day.

Perhaps if Vodafone spent a few more bucks employing people to man their call centres it wouldn’t need to spend many millions on its image.

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Introducing the Gold Balkley

golden-turd

The Gold Balkley

Balk noun: something immaterial that interferes with or delays action or progress

Groupthink is pleased to introduce the Gold Balkley, a new media award offered to the journalist or news organisation that dismays us with a shit story or line of questioning during the 2010 Election campaign that contributes nothing of informative value. Please feel free to nominate any examples of immaterial journalism during the next four weeks, including anything you may have seen, heard or read during week one of the campaign.

If anyone gives a shit and we receive nominations we will make a shortlist and put it to a poll to see who is the winner of the Gold Balkley for Election 2010.

I’ll get the ball rolling by nominating ABC News24′s political editor Chris Uhlmann for wasting valuable pre-Masterchef time during the election debate to again ask Julia Gillard about her discussions between she and Kevin Rudd before the spill, instead of asking about important policy issues such as health, broadband/internet censorship, gay marriage; you know, shit that really matters.

Please nominate such efforts. We’ll need a name (of a journalist, interviewer or news outlet) and an explanation of what they have done to earn their nomination - if you have a link to the nominated piece of work that would be awesome.

Please note that award is not open to columnists, bloggers or TV/radio show panellists - I think we’d go insane if we logged every piece of shit they come out with until August 21.

Nominations close August 22.

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Australian politics is not the West Wing

I follow a lot of people on Twitter who are very politically aware to the point of being a bit nerdy. They’ll defy a hangover to get up and watch Insiders and tweet about it; QandA is the highlight of their week and they mourn the retirement of good politicians like normal people do when football stars hang up their boots. I admire their passion, which I share to a point. However, I note their political romanticism seems to cloud the reality that politics is severely hampered by politics. Australian politics is not something that flows along and inspires like an Aaron Sorkin script. There is no wonderful oration, wunderkind political aids who are there to do the right thing for the country, or an intelligent media to keep the public properly informed. It isn’t about idealism and good ideas, it’s about reacting to what agendas are set by unpredictable events and ensuring one gets the rhetoric right.

There is no better example of the absurdity of Australian politics than the asylum seeker issue. The facts are clear. Australia has a relatively small number of people seeking asylum. The number is a fraction of Australia’s migration intake. There is a trickle of asylum seekers not a flood. And the situation is being well managed, though it could be better handled if the government wasn’t afraid to use detention centres on the mainland to process refugee applications. It shouldn’t be as big an issue, but it is because the Liberal Party has made an art form of turning it into a border security problem; while pandering to those concerned that the skin colour of those arriving allows for further fears about the impact on Australian culture. This bullshit could have been nipped in the bud a long time ago. Instead it has been allowed to fester because we have a media organisations that by and large doesn’t question such claims, but happily reports them to suit their own agendas.

What results is a chicken-egg situation where one side of politics thinks it has traction on a particular issue and runs with it. The media whips it up verbatim with little analysis apart from op-Eds that usually preach to the converted. The public is then made to think it’s a big issue and then add their own emotional comment further inflating the supposed importance. The politicians and media then turn around say this is an issue of great public importance. So, how can we expect a government to make decisions that do not have to take all this into account?

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