While we still don’t know who will be forming government in this country, the polls are closed and the Australian people have spoken. It was a long, painful and frankly boring campaign. Few policies were announced, even fewer were properly debated and overall I feel somewhat dumber for the whole experience.
But there were a few exceptional people leading up to and during the campaign. People who worked tirelessly to make this country a much worse place. With all the election analysis going around I’m afraid that these people might not get the recognition they deserve, which is why here at Groupthink I would like to pay my respects to these tireless individuals.
Nick Minchin
It would be easy to focus on Tony Abbott as the public face of the operation, but Minchin is the real mastermind of this. The ALP may have their faceless warlords, but the LIberal party have the eminently punchable face of Nick Minchin conducting their party room wars. The sight of an enthusiastic and happy Minchin on election night sent shivers down my spine.
The NSW ALP Right
It’s almost like the ALP had a meeting, sat down at a table, looked each other in the eyes and said “Fuck it, I don’t want to win this election”. So they disposed of a leader, backflipped on key policy issues then went screaming eyes shut to the right of every debate. And leading this blind stupidity was the faceless men of the NSW right. I don’t understand how you couldn’t say “our policies, which the opposition voted against have kept Australia out of recession” or “compared to every other developed economy our debt is unbelievably low and because we kept Australia out of recession we will be able to pay it back faster than any other economy, if it were a Liberal government there would have been no stimulus package, a recession and Australia would have slid further into debt”. They were up against Abbott, totally unelectable and became leader of his party by only 1 vote. It’s not exactly a difficult sales pitch. But no, the ALP did everything they could to fucking piss this election up against the wall.
Mark Latham
Utter, utter cunt.
Laurie Oaks
His dressing down of Latham aside, Oaks had a shameful campaign. Just in case the campaign didn’t have enough distractions, there he was at every turn with another leak flowing from his arse. Did you know that members of the same party occasionally had differences of opinion of policy issues in the party room? Because I expected that, but Oaks seemed to think it was a big deal. Which seems rather naive for a man who has been around Canberra for so long.
The Media
That’s right, all of you. The shit media coverage and the shite they called journalism has been well and truly covered here at Groupthink already.
The Young Liberals
This shameless little stunt pretty much ensured your place on the list, you grubby little turds.
While there are plenty more I’d like to mention I am out of time for today.
But feel free to rant about your favourite bad guys of the 2010 election in the comments.
