In the modern digital world, at least once every day I will tick a box stating that “I have read and agree to the terms and conditions”.
I rarely read them, I don’t care enough.
I would regularly joke with my friends that a thousand software manufactures could own my soul by now and I’d have no idea.
We all thought it was hilarious.
Yeah, well… They do.
A COMPUTER game retailer has revealed that it legally owns the souls of thousands of online shoppers, thanks to a clause in the terms and conditions they agreed to.
See, apparently this computer game retailer, GameStation, had the initiative to install what they called an “immortal soul clause” in their contract.
“By placing an order via this Web site on the first day of the fourth month of the year 2010 Anno Domini, you agree to grant Us a non transferable option to claim, for now and for ever more, your immortal soul. Should We wish to exercise this option, you agree to surrender your immortal soul, and any claim you may have on it, within 5 (five) working days of receiving written notification from gamesation.co.uk (sic) or one of its duly authorised minions.”
It allowed them to claim your soul at any time the desired, they even reserved the right “to serve such notice in 6 (six) foot high letters of fire”.
I, for one, welcome the precedent set by this new form of legal contract and am excited by the possibilities it has opened. I look forward to other inovative organizations adopting the initiative in their binding contracts.
I have made my online life easier by giving Google control of everything, imagine how streamlined my life could be if I just gave them control over my soul too (but you know, it’s only a technicality, it’s not like they’d never *do* anything with it, right?).
We all know Apple already owns every pathetic Mac-fan-boy-who-lined-up-for-an-iPad-for-days-and-wants-Steve-Jobs-for-his-body’s soul, so why not make it official in a binding contract? In exchange for their soul they could get Apple bumper stickers.
This is just the beginning of course, the potential is limitless. TV networks, newspapers (perhaps Rupert would accept payment of eternal souls to populate his city of the damned in lieu of cash to get past his paywall. It would certainly save him some hassle when it comes to finding breakfast), political parties and NGOs. This is the dawn of an exciting new day in End User License Agreements.