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A common complaint of the Australian parliamentary game is that it’s merely a case of Tweedledum versus Tweedledee, a contest between two parties who largely resemble one another in both policies and methods. Certainly, this has been the case for federal politics in recent years – Rudd was at pains to present himself as a ‘fiscal conservative’, and emphasise his religiousity and populism (see his comments re: the Bill Henderson sage, for instance). On the other side, Brendan Nelson and Malcom Turnbull were ‘moderates’, who both were supposed to represent ‘generational change’. To this game, the Coalition has now said basta, electing Tony Abbott as leader. He in turn has elected a shadow cabinet comprised of rightist demagogues and old discards from the Howard era. The dust is yet to settle on this one, but I think there are a few things to be considered.
Posts Tagged Liberal Party
This first appeared in Monday’s Crikey email and is on the Crikey website
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Let me tell you, weeks like last week don’t come along every week. Calling it extraordinary would be the understatement of the century, as even seasoned political observers would attest. For starters, this nation’s government considered a number of highly important issues and my speeches in the Senate were some of the most passionate, articulate and emotional presentations the Parliament has ever seen. They had everything: shouty voice, soft voice, pauses for effect, graphs as props, and moral appeals to right and wrong. I’m exhausted just thinking about them. One of my speeches was so powerful that I went to do it again for Susan and the staff back in the office but Susan yelled at me to get down off the desk.
[I once posted this at a certain other execrable blog. The time seemed right to revisit this theme.]
Imagine you are a husky fellow of simple tastes and modest abilities. Imagine that, until now, you’ve been a long way back in the queue to the throne, but that suddenly the whole line of succession has been catastrophically blown up, leaving you as the heir apparent.
Where would you turn to find a precedent for your frightening situation? Could there perhaps be a work of cinematic art that might provide a way for you to understand your predicament?
Joe Hockey: The King Ralph of Australian politics.
While the Liberals are embroiled in a simply delicious leadership crisis as the tinfoil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorists try to hijack the party, it’s worth taking a look at this enlightening Tony Abbott interview on Lateline which took place not ten days ago:
TONY JONES: I hear what you’re saying about the earth having been hotter in different periods in its entire global history, but let me ask you this. Have you read the science that we’re talking about here – for example, have you read the IPCC’s report?
TONY ABBOTT: No, I don’t claim to have immersed myself deeply in all of these documents. I’m a politician. I have to rely on briefings – I have to rely on what I pick up through the secondary sources.
But look, I think I am as well versed on these matters as your average politician needs to be.
TONY JONES: But you have read Ian Plimer’s book.
TONY ABBOTT: I haven’t yet finished Ian Plimer’s book. I have started Ian Plimer’s book.
TONY JONES: But you have quoted it from time to time.
TONY ABBOTT: I’ve quoted a couple of passages, and I confess I’m probably more familiar with the book through people who’ve written about it than I am through having read it myself.
TONY JONES: What evidence do you have then for saying that the earth has cooled since the late 1990s.
TONY ABBOTT: Well, I am not setting myself up as the great expert here, but the Hadley Institute in Britain, which is apparently one of the most reputable of these measuring centres, according to press reports, has found that after heating up very significantly in the previous 25 years, there seems to have been a slight cooling, but at a high plateau I’ll accept that.
TONY JONES: That is Ian Plimer’s argument. So when you actually go…
TONY ABBOTT: This is the Hadley Centre – this is measurements.
TONY JONES: I’m about to tell you what the Hadley Centre actually says. When you go and look at what it says about global temperatures you’ll find that they say that the years 1998 to 2006 include the hottest, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth hottest years in recorded history.
TONY ABBOTT: And the hottest one was at the beginning and the less hot ones have been since.
And it goes on. To summarise:
- Tony Abbott has not read the IPCC report.
- But he has read Heaven & Earth.
- But he’s only started it.
- But he’s capable of reciting whole passages of it at the drop of a hat even though he hasn’t read it.
- This is because he’s familiar with the book having read people who have written about it.
This is why Andrew Bolt being the intellectual beacon of Liberals is a good thing.
Bring on the next election.
The Liberal Party responds to a certain incident.
A media minder for Federal Opposition Leader Malcolm Turnbull has reportedly quit his job after being linked to an online bout of Liberal factional warfare.
The video parodies Liberal MP Alex Hawke by portraying him as an enraged Adolf Hitler, echoing a YouTube trend of dubbing Hitler biopic Downfall with fake translations.
Hitler responds to a certain incident.
Time for the launch of Groupthink’s first competition, and this one’s going to be interesting.
With the Coalition seriously lagging behind the government in poll after poll, and with constant white-anting of leader Malcolm Turnbull within his own party, it’s a reasonably safe bet that Turbull will never be Prime Minister of this country. Not only will it take a miracle for the coalition to win in 2010, it will take a Herculean effort from Malcy to remain Opposition leader until 2013. So with that in mind, Groupthink has opened a Book and it’s time for you to take a punt: on what date will Malcolm Turnbull lose the leadership of the federal opposition?
Place your bet in the comments of this post, ensuring that you nominate a full date: day, month and year. For bonus points, also nominate the person you think will take over as leader upon Malcolm’s departure. The eventual winner will win something that will be determined at the time of the winning. A mystery prize, if you will.
Have at it!
You have to feel for Brendan Nelson, who was once just one step, plus a political generation and an additonal 49 per cent approval points, from being the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia.
It’s sad that a man who is a doctor, wore an earring, rides a motorbike and plays guitar was never a serious contender for the highest office of the land (if you don’t include AFL CEO).
Even sadder was the way he spent his last day in his electorate; holding up a hastily written sign saying “thank you” to the people of Bradfield whom he served for 14 years.
Through a teary eye and endlessly furrowed brow, he must have felt heartened as passing drivers beeped their horns, blissfully unaware that someone had written “honk if you’re horny” on his placard.
Sadder still was Brendan’s going away party, where as guest of honour he was upstaged by estranged partners John Howard and Peter Costello.
You have to feel for Brendan. Who hasn’t had a party where they had to invite a couple of friends who just split up, only for that to become the biggest issue?
I can imagine him calling John Howard to invite him Little Johnny saying “eeeh, will Peter be there?”
“Yes John,” replies Brendon.
“Do I have to sit near him?”
“No, you don’t even have to talk to him. You’re both my friends so please don’t make me choose. Do it for me. Please?”
A similar conversation probably ensued with the former treasurer
“Is he bringing that bitch Jeanette?” Pete may or may not have asked.
The Australian reported that when Howard and Costello were reunited in their first public appearance together since the 2007 election loss and Brendan’s soiree there were no outstretched hands from either man when they came within range.
Jesus, there must be some really bad blood there.
In Liberal Party terms that’s as serious as what happened at my friend Livio’s 18th birthday party; attended by then newly separated couple Mick Wikowski and Sharon Zammit.
Sharon threw West Coast Cooler in Mick’s face when she saw him chatting up another girl. Mick, his eyes burning, called Sharon a slut causing her to throw a plastic chair at him. Boy was Livio’s mum angry.
Let’s hope Brendan had a good night and was able to secure the limelight long enough before all the talk was on whether or not Johnny would attend Pete’s farewell.
