Jun 11
While the hit TV show MasterChef is inspiring some unsavoury characters to perform acts of tellylingus, I’m taking the high road and allowing it only to stir up questions of faux genealogy. As such, here’s Japanophilic lawyer Adam Liaw:
And a random act of kindness in response to Molesworth’s challenge — the incomparable and mostly sober Karl Stefanovic:
Keep ’em coming, GroupThinkers.
May 13
Last night’s terse conversation between Prime Minister Kevin Rudd and 7.30 Report host Kerry O’Brien had many pundits conclude that the pressure is getting to the PM and what we saw was a meltdown comparible with that of former Labor leader Mark Latham.
To quote Lindsay Tanner, “if that was a meltdown you should see my three-year-old daughter”.
What we saw was not the real meltdown but a carefully edited version of a tirade by the PM which went to air. In a Groupthink Exclusive, we have obtained a transcript of the unedited exchange between Mr Rudd and Kerry O’Brien on ETS reversal, which makes for interesting reading.
You decide if indeed the Prime Minister has had a meltdown (contains course language).
KERRY O’BRIEN: I said brand Rudd, you said the Government. I’m talking about Kevin Rudd, I’m talking about your image, your credibility, your brand.
Whether some of those that appear to have been lost to you this year come back before the next election, or not, do you understand why so many people have turned against you now, Kevin Rudd, not just the Government, Kevin Rudd, and do you accept that they have judged your leadership and found you wanting?
KEVIN RUDD: Kerry, that is a question which, um, you should, um, put to other folk, political commentators like that pisshead Milne and the rest. My job is to get on with the business of …
KERRY O’BRIEN: No, I’m putting it to you…
KEVIN RUDD: …no, no…fuck off!
KERRY O’BRIEN: …because you can’t possibly suggest that this does not exercise your mind at all, that you are so focused, you’re so focused on Government that you’re not concerned about whether you’re losing support going into the next election?
KEVIN RUDD: I’d expect that sort of fuckin shit from a ranga! Kerry, look I’m human like anyone else and of course you’d, um. be, um, um, if you weren’t affected by developments from time to time, that’s just the truth of it. This business sucks shit at the best of time and the Australian public are a bunch of ungrateful cunts …
So, Rudd is struggling in the polls? This is hardly surprising considering he was elected on a platform of not being the other guy. We didn’t really know what he stood for then, we don’t really know what he stands for now. Once the Coalition got their shit together, they were always going to gain ground.
We know he stands for action on climate change … kinda. Only enough so as to not piss anyone off. We know he stands for a more humane asylum seeker policy. Sorta. As long as that more humane policy doesn’t appear to be ‘weak’ on ‘border protection’. (How the right keep framing the debates so well will never cease to amaze me.)
And in being so careful not to step on anyone’s toes he has alienated everyone. And for what? The people he tries so hard not to offend were likely never to support him anyway. Instead he comes across as gutless, do nothing, and direction-less.
We know he hasn’t had the easiest Senate to deal with. Working with the Coalition would seem a lot easier than trying to get Family First and The Greens to agree to agree with each other, let alone the ALP. But it’s weak. It waters down their policy and closes the gap between the ALP and The Coalition even further, when there really wasn’t a lot of margin there to play with. Rudd has acted in government like he acted in a campaign. He has had three years to govern and he doesn’t really seem like he has done much of it.
The ALP loses credibility when discussing the issues and looks weak when discussing the process.
That said, I hope Labor gets a second term and an easier Senate to negotiate. The Greens holding the balance of power in their own right would bring the debate back towards the left, and I don’t think that’s at all a bad thing for the country or for the government.
With more certainty in the Senate, perhaps Rudd won’t fold so easily. A stronger ETS policy, more ‘revolution’ in their education and health policy, a genuinely humane approach to asylum seekers and real action on closing the gap with indigenous Australians.
If Rudd wants to win this election, he now has an uphill battle to fight. He needs to sell a vision, he needs to stop playing so ‘safe’ and sell a vision of Australia. Stop being so process driven, and chase after the policy and sell it to Australia. Of course, this assumes he has a vision that he’s struggling to sell. Which I am not totally convinced he has.
But if you’re running out of reasons why he deserves another chance and a second term, remember: he’s not the other guy. Worked for him last time.
But just quietly, I’m kinda hoping Julia books her ticket to Mars.
Apr 24
On the plus side, voting in this year’s federal election just got a little easier.
AN Abbott government would buy three unmanned spy planes to use as weapons in its pledge to turn around illegal boat arrivals.
Opposition Leader Tony Abbott said the Global Hawk surveillance aircraft – costing between $40 million and $100 million each – would provide early detection of asylum seekers.
Because that is the rational thing to do. Spend $300 million on planes to catch leaky boats. In fact why stop at planes? I think we need surveillance satellites, the full resources of the navy and the air-force and the army and while we’re at it LET’S BUILD A GIANT WALL!
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: What happened to political discourse in this country where refugees are talked about like pests?
This year will be the first federal election where I will be able to exercise my democratic right to decide if I’d rather a turd sandwich and a giant douche, and I feel like it is a really bad election to pop my voting cherry with. I would have liked the 2007 election. Government change, revolution, excitement. Howard lost his seat after almost 12 years. Sure, the man we replaced him with turned out to be a giant douche, but we didn’t know that for sure at the time.
But this year, we have Rudd vs Abbott. We have seen them both in government before and they both stink. Hooray for democracy!
Also in that same story: Abbott can’t think of any reason not to sell uranium to India.
Feb 16
One of these men will be Prime Minister from 2010 to 2013.
Be afraid, Australia. Be very afraid.
Feb 16
Former One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson, who made her political name railing against immigrants, says she is emigrating to Britain because there are no more opportunities for her in Australia.
In an interview with Woman’s Day, the divisive former federal MP revealed her plans to sell her south-east Queensland property and leave Australia.
“I’m going to be away indefinitely. It’s pretty much goodbye forever,” she said in the interview.
A sad farewell:
Yesterday’s Herald Sun carried the lurid headline – “John Howard’s Revenge”. Unfortunately, the former PM comes off as a ‘funny uncle’ masquerading as a hardened culture warrior. That’s what happens when you’re over the hill and you believe your own hype.
Two of Howard’s claims — the the Rudd government has engaged in “symbolism” and high-spending, are entirely true. The problem for Howard, however, is that there is nothing wrong with symbolism per se. Moreover, if Howard had been in power during the GFC, the recession in Australia would almost certainly have been worse. Workchoices would have exacerbated current problems of unemployment and underemployment. Even the current Federal opposition does not deny that it would have spent money of a stimulus package, but rather, merely quibbles about the amount.
Howard is particularly critical of the stimulus package: “Mr Rudd will say he had the global financial crisis to handle. Well, courtesy of us, he was well endowed with money in the bank.”
Actually, it was courtesy of Howard and Costello that Australia was left with a structural deficit in the budget, in effect making budget surpluses dependent upon record (and unsustainable) revenues from mineral exports. That’s the real Howardian ‘legacy’ – casualisation of Australia’s labour force, and ‘fiscal prudence’ predicated on a unique, temporary and entirely contingent set of economic circumstances.
So there you have it. Howard is predictable and completely ineffectual in any debate without a team of News Ltd trollumnists behind him. And the Herald Sun can’t even do Sunday sensationalism like it used to. Until the Sunday Hun can let us know which strip joints Howard attends, the man should be wheeled back out to pasture.
Nov 6
THE much-anticipated pop reunion between Robbie Williams and his former bandmates in Take That appears to be edging closer.
Williams has confirmed plans are in place for him to perform with Take That and hinted that he’s already recorded something with them.
Australia rejoices:
Nov 4
Britney Spears has arrived in Sydney ahead of her first Australian tour, which starts in Perth on Friday.
The headline-grabbing American pop princess touched down at Sydney airport just after 6am AEDT.
Australia rejoices:
Nov 3
The Reserve Bank has lifted its key interest rate for a second month in a row as it attempts to keep Australia’s economy on track for sustained growth.
Today’s widely tipped 25-basis-point increase raises the central bank’s cash rate to 3.5 per cent …
”Economic conditions in Australia have been stronger than expected and measures of confidence have recovered,” [RBA Governor Glenn] Stevens said.
Prime Minister Kevin Rudd responds:
