In response to last night’s exclusive leaders debate, and due to the suggestions of a few members of the Groupthink community, I am proud to announce that on Tuesday of next week Groupthink will be hosting the first ever “25-35, unmarried and childless leaders debate”.
Leaders of both political parties along with representatives of the minor parties have been secured for the debate* that will be held at an inner-city venue TBA.
The debate will be broadcast via an internet webcast which will be available for screening in pubs and coffee shops across the latte belt (registration details can be found here).
This exciting new format for political debate will allow viewers in the latte belt to submit questions to the leaders in real time via their iPads.
Unfortunately the web feed will not be available to the general public as the leaders will be specifically addressing the 25-35 unmarried hipster voting demographic and the webcast will only be available to approved and registered venues upon payment of a small fee.
The debate is already drawing much interest from childless 30-somethings, who hope many of the big issues facing the modern hipster will be discussed:
The thirty-something hipster vote is a powerful force. We care about the real issues – bad coffee, the limited numbers of hip brunch venues, the death of the inner suburban hipster pub, over-regulation of fixed gear bikes, and the shrinking supply of vintage clothes.
Undecided voters are already signalling that their vote may be decided by next week’s debate, said Harper of Northcote:
I’m so hungover, I’d vote for anyone.
Leaders of the hipster community could not be reached for comment this morning; incoming reports suggest this was due iOS4 being released last night. Reuters reported:
It is unclear whether their iPhone batteries have been drained flat, or if the hipsters are simply too tired to wake up after a sleepless night of furious masturbation.
Neither leader would comment before the debate, but members of both parties are claiming underdog status.
*This part of the post (along with most of it) is entirely fictitious.