Posts Tagged Facebook

The Tony Abbott Horcruxes

As a website, Facebook is generally filled with fail. But every now and again, someone creates a group that fills me with such lolz that I feel compeled to share it.

Anyone familiar with Harry Potter would be familiar with the idea Horcruxes, the dark magical objects used by Voldemort to obtain immortality. Items that store part of your soul so that you can never die. To create a Horcrux you have to split your soul and the only way to split your soul it so commit murder. In the Harry Potter universe Voldemort creates 7 Horcruxes that must be destroyed before the dark lord can be killed.

Complete with some of the best photoshop I have ever seen

Complete with some of the best photoshop I have ever seen

Voldemort’s 7 Horcruxes were:

  • Tom Riddle’s Diary
  • Marvolo Gaunt’s Ring
  • Slytherin’s Locket
  • Helga Hufflepuff’s Cup
  • The Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw
  • Harry Potter himself
  • Nagini the snake

It does lead you to wonder, if Tony Abbott had to pick seven items to place parts of his soul in, what would he pick?

So far I’m thinking the 7 items we would have to destroy before we could kill Abbott are:

  • The last copy of The Bulletin
  • His wedding ring
  • A set of rosary beads
  • His speedos
  • The pope’s hat
  • Malcolm Turnbull
  • His penis

That is where I will be beginning my search for the Tony Abbott Horcruxes. What about you?

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The Ultimate Gayification

Gidday. Regular readers of this blog (if there are any) would have familiarisation with one of my social commentary themes “The Gayification of [insert topic]“. I brung you the Gayifaction of Men and the Gayifaction of Men x2. And know now my wig his flipped 360 [small zero]. Three of my favourite topics: The Comedy Festival,  Facebook and Christianity have been Gayified with the coming together of a perverse, deeply disturbing and insulting to all disenfranchised blokes “show” called “Faithbook”. A Gayification to top all other Gayifiactions.

De Vinci would roll in his grave

De Vinci would roll in his grave

Now, I have rallied against this kind of thing before with women and their right to vote. With that one I’m gaining ground but it seems I am losing ground with my Gayification topical debate. So I, Trevor McDonald, propose that we as a collective group of blokes protest against our own oppression and not turn our blind eyes to the discrimination we as blokes are facing in the gym toilets, on the Internet and in the public toilets across our street. I am sick of being treated as a second class citizen by the conspiracy to Gayify our nation and its institutes. I am Trevor here me roar.

Tickets for the protest against this suggestiveness and Gayification are available through Ticketmaster (a tool of Leftists Gays) by clicking on this —> hyperlink function. I hope to see youse there some nights and at the Glasshouse for a beer after the show.

Trevor.

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Problems solved

Facebook has been used to say nasty things. There are calls to ban its use by certain people and in certain situations.

Fair enough. Let’s follow this through to its obvious conclusion.

Swearing

Swearing

To be banned:

  • Speaking
  • Air

Read the rest of this entry »

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Why are Youse Surprised?

Don’t get me wrong (because Im never wrong) but the two recent terrible tragedies involving our youngsters have been shocking and heart wrenching for their families and towns/communities. But you know what gets on my goat about the whole thing (apart from the evil little cunts who done it) its the fucken Facebook dedication pages.

Now In my time if you had died your mates and you step mums would put the hat around and put some death notices in the local rag. Now with the generation of the internet (Facebook) people can leave dedication notices on purpose specific Facebook (forums) outlining their grief and emotions (with grief appropriate emoticons too). While there is nothing wrong with this what gets on my quince is that people are surprised when these Facebook Dedication Pages are infiltrated by all sorts of nasty characters and hyperlinks (links that you click on to go to what is called a ‘webpage’).Like, what the fucken hell does you expect. You know like the real life, that the internet is filled with all sorts of nasty things and people who use the internet. Put something in the paper instead you know.

Plus I said to my ex defacto recently that if I died that I don’t want a Facebook dedication page. Just like I didn’t want her to dedicate love songs to me on the Fox FM.

A more important Topical Debate is Does You Think Steven Conways Internet Filter is going to stop these gallutes spamming Facebook Dedication Pages?

Youse be the Judges:

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