Posts Tagged Egypt

Incorrect use of the word “evacuate” gives me the shits

We saw the misuse of the word evacuation during the Queensland flood crisis, and now it’s being poorly used during Egypt’s political implosion.

Herald Sun:  THE Government will send a specially charted Qantas flight to Cairo to evacuate Aussie (sic) trapped amid the anarchy in Egypt.

The Age:  Government to evacuate Australians in Egypt

ABC News: The Federal Government is sending a plane to evacuate Australians stranded in Egypt as violent protests continue to rock the country.

The Australian: THE Gillard government has organised a Qantas charter flight to evacuate Australians trapped by the political crisis in Egypt.

What the hell am I on about? This scene from Series 5 of The Wire explains it beautifully.

“A building can be evacuated. To evacuate that person is to give that person an enema.”

Which gives this line in The Age story a whole new tragic angle: Prime Minister Julia Gillard says Australians trapped in Egypt can evacuate aboard a government-chartered Qantas flight on Wednesday.

Expect a long wait for the toilets.

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Why Australian newspapers are shit

It’s 8:30pm in Sri Lanka and I’m sitting at the top of a mountain, in front of a fire, surfing the Internet on my netbook using the guesthouse’s free wifi. I know, it’s a rough life. But it’s 5pm in Cairo and right now over there in the Middle East’s most populous country is the beginning of what looks to be a historic popular uprising against the governing regime.

So, I’m sitting here on the Internet trying to keep up to date with what’s going on. Most of my information is coming via Twitter — first-, second- and third-hand accounts, and links to more credible reports by various publications — and I’m keeping a close eye on stuff like The Guardian‘s live blog and Al Jazeera English (when the guesthouse’s bandwidth allows). Even as far away from the action as central Sri Lanka might be, I feel quite informed about up-to-the-minute events.

Even though it’s 2am in Melbourne, I’m curious to know how the Australian newspaper websites are covering the story. I know it’s the middle of the night but surely skeleton web crews are at least updating their sites with links to give curious Australian readers a point of entry into the coverage, associating their masthead with news delivery. And surely a story of such global and historical importance would be given worthy prominence.

Oh, how stupid of me.

Here’s The Australian publishing an AP wire as its fourth headline, backed up by a piece by its Middle Eastern correspondent. You might care to have a read of them after you’ve browsed the latest riveting news about the Murray Darling rescue plan.

The Australian

Here’s The Age publishing a piece by its man on the ground, Jason Katsoukis, as its third headline. Once you’ve finished reading about the Australian soccer team and state politics, you might care to read some words written by Katsoukis before the protests begin: “Now it seems as though the unthinkable could be about to happen …”

The Age

And here’s the Sydney Morning Herald publishing absolutely nothing at all.

Sydney Morning Herald

This is (one of the reasons) why Australian newspapers are dying: because if it happens outside business hours, or at a time otherwise inconvenient to the deadlines of their printing presses, then as far as the newspapers are concerned their readers will just have to wait. That might’ve been okay in 1990 but in the age of the Internet it’s business suicide.

UPDATE: A tweet from Groupthink’s Cosmicjester:

@cosmicjester: abc 24 now playing a rerun of big ideas. Dont worry, its not like anything important is happening.

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Vote like an Egyptian

Democracy is a pretty special sort of thing. We take it very much for granted in Australia, but around the world people have lost their lives and endured unimaginable hardship in the fight to secure for themselves a democratic voice. On Wednesday, I did my democracy at the Australia embassy in Cairo, and while my life and wellbeing were not in any way at risk, it was no visit to a primary school to buy a sausage in bread, let me tell you.

It’s hot in Egypt at the moment. Real hot. Like, over 40-degrees hot. There’s a reason only idiots come to Egypt in August and that’s because it’s hot. Regardless, I set out from my hotel in the general direction of the Australian embassy feeling democracy swelling inside me. I knew it was going to be a bit of a walk, and it was going to be a hot walk, but after fifteen minutes in the direct midday sun, shirt sopping wet with sweat, and still a very decent distance away from the embassy, I started to wonder whether democracy matted that much. “Get a taxi!” screamed the comfort-seeking half of my brain. “And waste a perfectly good dollar when you can walk?” screamed the tightarse half of my brain.

Another half hour later I decided to ask a friendly looking man if I was close.

“The Australian embassy,” he said, leading me over to the street so he could point, “is just down here, next to the Italian embassy.”

“Um, are you sure?” I asked. “I’m fairly certain it is north from here but you say it is south.”

“Yes, yes. Very sure.”

“The Australian embassy?” I articulated clearly, in case he thought I meant the country next to Italy.

“Yes, Australia … kangaroo,” he added, helpfully.

So, I backtracked in the direction indicated by my friend, found the Italian embassy, and sure enough there was precisely nothing next to it where he said the Australian one would be. I took off north again.

Finally, an hour-and-a-half after I left the hotel I found the building which houses the Australian embassy on its 10th and 11th floors. I shoved my bag through the x-ray machine and waited for an elevator, developing a nasty chill due to the Arctic air-conditioning’s effect on my dripping wet t-shirt. Up at the embassy’s reception area I surrendered my camera, gave my water bottle and guidebook another dose of x-rays, marvelled at the terrible framed photographs of Quentin Bryce and Stephen Smith on the wall (wondering if there had been until recently a piccie of Kev, too), and got lead by a man through a labyrinthine series of doors and corridors secured by code-lock keypads and CCTV cameras.

Completely disorientated, we emerged into a simple room filled with bright sunlight from floor-to-ceiling windows, and decorated with a large stuffed koala and Australian flag. A young man in business attire, lounging casually behind a large desk, said, “Howyagoin?” which was only about the fifth time in six weeks I’d heard an Australian accent. I told him I was, “Prettygoodhey,” and filled out a postal vote envelope. He handed me a small green slip and a giant white tablecloth and pointed me towards a makeshift booth with “VOTE HERE” plastered on the side. I walked over to the booth, folded the unmarked pieces of paper, walked back over to the young man, sealed them in the postal vote envelope, and shoved it into the locked ballot box.*

Tempted to ask if I could hang around and chat or something – anything to spend a bit longer in the air-conditioning – I said, “Seeyalater,” retrieved my camera from Quentin Bryce’s protective gaze, and headed back out into Cairo’s ridiculous heat just to get totally lost once more and spend an hour walking around like an idiot instead of spending a dollar on a taxi fare.

(* Of course I didn’t vote informally – I’m not that stupid. I made sure I put a tick in every box.)

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