Vodafone celebrates the average number of seconds it takes to get through to one of its call centre operators.
A very common theme on Twitter is people’s gripes with Vodafone’s customer service or lack of it. For example this tweet by @agreencow: I’m currently on hold to Vodafone for 35 mins. Ironically the longest call possible so far before loss of service.
It reminded me of a time when I was with Vodafone in the mid 2000s. Yes, I was taken in by the hype and coolness of it all. I was impressed with their funky ads and relationships with global sporting bohemoths like Manchester United, Ferrari F1 team and the Western Bulldogs.
As a journo I was invited to a Vodafone lunch at the fancy Botanical restaurant in South Yarra, where lovely PR girls named Sarah and Kylie showed me the latest Sony Ericsson phone complete with MMS, WAP and polyphonic ringtones including a really cool one that made your ultrafunky handset sound like an olden days telephone!
Through less than journalistically ethical means I acquired one of these phones, which were the iPhone of their day – albeit with a better phone signal. Then one day I couldn’t send SMS so I called Vodafone for assiatance. I was put on hold where some really cool chick told me that my call was important in a way that sounded like if I continued to hold I may get sex.
I was at work and starting to get a little impatient when I fnally got hold of someone to help me.
Trent the Operator (in a sickingly upbeat groovy voice: “Hi it’s Trent here, how can I help you today?”
Me: “Finally! Hello Trent I can’t send text messages from my phone. When I try I get a message saying ‘unable to send SMS’.”
Trent: “OK, I can help you with that. Are you on your phone now?”
Me: “Yes, because calls to Vodafone are free from this phone”
Trent: “Oh OK, we’ll have to go through your settings so can you call me from a landline.”
Me: “Uhm OK. I was on hold for 40 minutes, will I be put on hold again?”
Trent: “No, call this number (reads out number) and you’ll come to the call centre direct and ask for me.”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Trent: “Yep, speak to you soon.”
So I called the number.
Really cool recorded chick: “Hi welcome to Vodafone, if you’re calling … ”
That’s when I (and a person who frequents this blog can verify this) threw my telephone at the wall making a frightful bang while yelling out “fuck you Vodafone I’m going back to fucking Telstra!”
Which I did, that day.
Perhaps if Vodafone spent a few more bucks employing people to man their call centres it wouldn’t need to spend many millions on its image.