Groupthink

Posts Tagged Andrew Bolt

A “Sorry” Variation (Sincere Regrets)

Nov 2

Posted by Ross Sharp in Politics, Society | 1 Comment

Groupthink is proud to announce a brand new set of lyrics with a local and contemporary flavour set to the tune of Tex Williams’ “Some, Smoke, Smoke (That Cigarette)” …

“SORRY, SORRY, SORRY (SINCERE REGRETS)”

Now we’re a country with a heart of gold,
Or at least that’s what we’re taught and told,
The kinda place that’s the envy of the world.

 But there’s some things that ain’t too thrillin’
Like “The X Factor” or seam gas drillin’,
That when I hear about, do make my toes fair curl.

We’re very sorry for Pauline Hanson,
She can’t wash a car and she’s shit at dancin’,
She ain’t much superior to anyone.

Sorry for whinin’ and fallin’ to our knees-
Whoops! Here’s a boat from Indonese!
Run for the hills and don’t forget the guns!

(CHORUS)
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sincere regrets,
Sorry for all the things we’ve done, and the things we ain’t done yet.
We’re so sorry it makes us cry,
Sorry that our planes don’t fuckin’ fly,
Sorry for the floods and the levy and the flies and the sharks and the pests.

Alan Jones is sorry for his choice of language,
I wish he were the meat in a gay leper sandwich,
Alan Joyce is sorry he’s brung The Troubles.

We’re sorry ‘bout the price of bananas,
And Coles and Woolies fuckin’ over the farmers,
But I still shop there, ‘cause the other places cost me double! (Sorry)

We’re sorry about Andrew Bolt’s pity,
The sook could be heard from city to city,
But old Andy, he ain’t sorry ‘bout much at all.

“My freedom of speech is under threat!”,
And, “Ordinary folk can’t place a bet!”,
“These Muslims and ni**ers gonna rape and kill us all!”

(CHORUS)
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sincere regrets,
Sorry for all the things we’ve done, and the things we ain’t done yet.
We’re so sorry it makes us cry,
Sorry that our planes don’t fuckin’ fly,
Sorry for the floods and the levy and the flies and the sharks and the pests.

We’re sorry for climate change,
No doubt these scientists are all insane!
You can predict the climate from the entrails of a chicken!

And we’re sorry for Katter and Barnaby Joyce,
Add Angry Anderson and you’re spoilt for choice
For candidates with the brainpower of a kitten!

And we’re bloody sorry for Julia Gillard,
And for Kevin Rudd, whom she doth spill’ed,
Poor dear went off his Iced Vo-Vo’s for a month.

But we’re mortified by Tony Abbott,
In his budgie smugglers with his budgie’s scabbard,
I’m sorry, but I’m about to lose my lunch!

(CHORUS)
Sorry, sorry, sorry, sincere regrets,
Sorry for all the things we’ve done, and the things we ain’t done yet.
We’re so sorry it makes us cry,
Sorry that our planes don’t fuckin’ fly,
Sorry for the floods and the levy and the flies and the sharks and the pests.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Freedom!

Sep 28

Posted by Spock... in Media, Society | 3 Comments

Andrew Bolt has a bi-weekly full page spread.

He appears every weekday on the radio.

He has his own TV show.

I don’t think his speech is really that threatened, do you?

The take away from today will be a discussion about “free speech”. There will inevitibly be those who wil argue that speech should be completely free and unrestricted. These libertarian types will no doubt get their knickers in a knot over it all. They will use the word “freedom” like the smurfs use “smurf”. And then there will be those who are quietly (or perhaps less quietly) glad that Bolt is finally getting his comeuppance. I have to admit that it’s like watching a murdering drug kingpin go down for tax evasion; it’s not how I’d like it to happen but part of me enjoys it all the same.

I love the idea of free speech, don’t you. I haven’t heard anyone argue otherwise. I think this debate centres more around degrees of free speech than any level of opposition to it. But like everything I think it gets pretty murky when you start looking at the details.

I think free speech would work great if everyone’s speech was equal, but it isn’t, is it? My speech is not equal to the speech of Andrew Bolt or his media asset owning overlords. Chances are, yours isn’t either.

So if a powerful media organization decided that it would like to say something about you (perhaps it is to do with your race, your performance at work, or you personal opinions outside of work) what chance does your speech have against that? Can you yell as loud as News Ltd?

Maybe these “restrictions” on free speech aren’t such a bad thing if it protects those that don’t have as much free speech as others. Maybe ensuring that those with more forceful free speech treat it with the respect and responsibility that it deserves is a good thing, even if it occasionally gets into murky water around issues of “freedom”.

Of course, when the legal system is used to shut down blogs *cough* and trample on those with soft voices the system is probably not working.

I don’t have any answers, but I think framing the discussion as “for freedom” and “against freedom” doesn’t help anyone. I think today was about “being a dickhead about it” vs “rationally discussing issues”, I think the court came down on the side of “don’t be a c***”.

But I will leave the last word to well known advocate of unity, Andrew Bolt:

“I argued then and I argue now that we should not insist on the differences between us but focus instead on what unites us as human beings. Thank you.”

That’s about all I have to say this morning. Carry on being free.

UPDATE: Dave over at Pure Poison has a copy of the law and the judgment on the blog. The issue doesn’t seem to be expressing his opinion. It seems like it was about the lies and distortions and stuff.

Tags: , ,

Playing Politics with Tragedy

Jul 23

Posted by cosmicjester in Site news | 10 Comments

Terrorism is a fucked up thing. But why is it that before we even know the facts the usual clowns start using the tragedy to make a cheap political point? Without knowing anything about the attacks Andrew Bolt gleefully tried to insinuate an Islamic link.

 

Once the identity of the attackers becomes known, the consequences for Norway’s immigration policies could be profound:

 

You could see the angle he wanted to use. Muslims Muslims Boo!

The problem was, the facts weren’t known and when a suspect was arrested they didnt fit in with the Boltian world view. He was white, ethnic Norwegian, and allegedly he is Christian and conservative.

Did Andrew Bolt apologise for trying to connect the attack with Muslims with nothing to back it up apart from speculation from his own arse? Of course not, in an update he still somehow tried to connect the attack with Islam.

 

Even so, the history of Islamic violence in Scandinavia suggests Muslim immigration there has been a bad deal for the locals:

 

So even if it isn’t about Islam it still kind of is?

Keep digging that hole Andrew.

Thing is, we still don’t know too much about the motives for the attacks despite them arresting a suspect.  But why is it that some people try to score cheap political points from a tragedy before anything is even known? Now I could play the same stupid bigoted game that Andrew regularly plays and try to use this terrible attack as an excuse to smear all conservatives. But we know that this appalling attack would disgust most people, be they conservative, Marxist, Jewish, Muslim or Zoroastrian. So please, don’t just use these tragedies to sprout your own prejudices.

Tags: ,

#lolbolt

Jul 3

Posted by cosmicjester in Media | 2 Comments

A fairly typical Bolt post about teh left-wing bias in television. Did you know Happy Days and MASH were all part of the left-wing, surrender monkey conspiracy?
Anyway what was odd was who Bolt thanked for showing him the article.
I’m guessing Bolt isn’t too familiar with American history?

Tags:

Word up!

Jun 16

Posted by Ross Sharp in Media | 1 Comment

GERBILISM (GERB-AL-ISM) Noun / GERBILIST (GERB-AL-IST) Noun

A gerbilist is an erstwhile journalist whose prime modus operandi is to load each and every “article” they write with links to other journalists with whom they agree on pretty much everything and who, in turn, agree with them. Gerbilists do not generally quote from, or link to, those journalists who pose a contrary point of view to their own.

Gerbilists produce “gerbilism”, a style of abstract typing that, when recognised, immediately puts the reader in mind of brown noses, small furry animals wrapped in duct tape, ferris wheels and speech impediments.

Example No.1–

The gerbilist praises itself for finding another gerbilist in agreement, and says as much …

There was no real Julia

Janet Albrechtsen agrees:

Gillard has become the casebook study of how to shrink in the job as PM…

Example No.2 –

This is when a gerbilist disappears up their own arsehole by linking to other gerbilists who say warm and runny things about them …

Lose some, win some

I wish I could persuade Joel Silver to read my columns, but luckily I’ve still got my TV show.

Gerbilists are like the Human Centipedes of news media, forever defecating in each other’s cakeholes and then chewing with their mouths open in public.

Tags: , , , , , ,

cosmicjester’s half-arsed Mediawatch

May 5

Posted by cosmicjester in Site news | 16 Comments

What do you do if you are a god loving, Allah hating ultra-conservative who couldn’t be happier that Osama is dead but just can’t bring themselves to giving any credit to the socialist/Kenyan/Indonesian/homosexualist/Atheist-Radical-Muslim currently in the White House?

Note that it was all because of the torture enhanced interrogation methods. This ignores that waterboarding didn’t stop key prisoners from giving false information about the courier or downplaying his importance of traditional methods of covert intelligence that was used in finding bin Laden. To give all credit to waterboarding is misleading to the extreme.

Over at Andrew Bolt’s blog he has resorted to quoting a blog that no-one has heard of that claims that the military had to overrule Obama to kill bin Laden. Sound fishy? Military overruling the President, and the news is only available on some obscure blog? Well other stories from this blog that Andrew Bolt thinks is credible include one of a job advertisement in Romania for new Al-Qaeda leader, 14 year old girl has x-ray vision. Curious.

More articles from this site that Southbank superjournalist Andrew Bolt thinks is credible.

Alien UFO’s are really here.

Aliens gatecrash Royal wedding.

How Nostradamus predicted 9/11.

And yes, my personal favorite “Reptilian conspiracy theory”

Just all part of the rigorous fact-checking by our Andrew Bolt. It’s not that he would believe any old rubbish if it happened to be anti-Obama. Not at all.

Bolt’s commenter’s are also not convinced.

There is NO DOUBT!

I think Obama, worked in conjunction with the RAND corporation in conjunction with the reverse-vampires staged the Osama raid to please our reptilian overlords. WHY DON’T YOU OPEN YOUR EYES PEOPLE!!!!

Seriously though, these people are insane.

Update: On twitter someone pointed out that they suspected the website is one of those that anyone can submit anything to so it is unfair of me to categorise the whole thing as crazy. To me that just sounds more damning, that Andrew Bolt would willingly quote something that is as credible as a forum post of Free Republic or 4chan. But in the interest of fairness I have looked at the author of the Obama was overruled article. Ultersman’s articles appear to be a collection of wacky rants and conspiracies mainly about the Obama administration. And what a surprise, he is also a birther.

Once again thats some kick ass fact checking and verifying you are doing Andrew Bolt.

Update 2: Bolt has finally realised the link was bogus. Very interesting what he will believe if it happens to be about someone he doesn’t like.

Some more info on Ultersman from Media Matters.

I know what I saw and I know what I heard.  I know who I saw.  Maybe it was some kind of phase he was going through at the time.  Maybe he was experimenting with a different lifestyle.  Maybe the death of that man was just a coincidence.  I don’t know the answers to that.  I just know what I know.  I just know what I heard and saw.  On that night I heard Barack Obama in that conference room with another man.  I saw Barack Obamastep out of that room with another man.  I smelled what I think was some kind of drug they were using.  And I know that the other man who was in that room with Barack Obama was murdered about ten years later shortly after Barack Obama declared he was running for President of the United States.

That is my story.  I hope that you share it.  If something happens to me now, you will know why.

Yes, Ultserman published an article claiming that someone walked in on Barack Obama involved in drug fueled sex with another man and then later the other man wound up mysteriously dead. This is wacky, fringe lunatic stuff and Andrew Bolt believed this guy to be credible. Amazing.

This also got a run in yesterdays Crikey here and here.

Tags: , , , ,

Andrew Bolt – Also an expert on nuclear physics

Mar 14

Posted by cosmicjester in Media | 6 Comments

Andrew Bolt on Australia’s offering nuclear experts to Japan if wanted.

I’m even more inclined to that view by his tweets yesterday on Insiders , Chernobyl, the ludicrous offer of nuclear expertise from this country with no reactors to Japan with plenty

Ummm, no. Whilst we dont have nuclear power reactors in this country it is incorrect to say that we have no nuclear reactors. We have a two research  nuclear reactors in Lucas Heights. In fact we have had the first reactor for so long it was actually opened by Prime Minister Robert Menzies. Reactor mark 1 has been shut down permanently, but reactor mark 2 “OPAL” is operational and staffed by a whole bunch of smart people who I’m guessing would be fairly knowledgeable in the area of nuclear science, as is this organisation.

And I’m also guessing if Japan had the situation completely under control they wouldn’t have needed an emergency delivery of coolant from the US Navy.

I’m getting the strange feeling Bolt sometimes doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Hold me.

Tags: , ,

How does he do it?!?

Feb 1

Posted by Ross Sharp in Media, Politics, Society, The Internet | 6 Comments

Australia’s most incisive investigative reporter, social and media commentator extraordinaire, Mr. Andrew Bolt, receives over O!N!E! M!I!L!L!I!O!N! H!I!T!S A! D!A!Y! on his supremely successful online media presence, the imaginatively titled “Andrew Bolt Blog”!

How does he do it, you may ask yourself, you may indeed, yessirree, you may!

Wonder no more, I say, for enlightenment is what I offer you fine people and gentle folks today! Roll up! Roll up! And walk this way! For an elixir for all that ails you is on offer this fine day! (Children under 15 admitted free! Hooray! Hooray!)

LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!! …

Bush was right and the Left wrong: Arabs want democracy too (Monday, January 31, 2011, 7.14pm)

Subject: The genius of George Bush.
Links: 3.
Content: 573 words.
Quoted content: 487 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 86 words (15.00872%).

“Clowns are funny people, they only love once.”

ROOOOOLLLLLLLL UP!!! …

Obama tells a green lie (Monday, January 31, 2011, 9.33pm)

Subject: Barack Obama.
Links: 3.
Content: 595 words.
Quoted Content: 504 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 91 words (15.29411%).

“When things go wrong, and life’s no song, and you’re flat on your back, that doesn’t mean you have to lie there: be a jumping jack!”

AND FOR OUR NEXT TRICK!!!! ….

I shall fight on the beaches, I shall fight in the hills (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 5.53am)

Subject: Julia Gillard.
Links: 1.
Content: 99 words.
Quoted content: 99 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 0 words (0.00000%).

“Your legs are too thin, your hair is too red, you have lips like a cat. You’re no good. You give me too much trouble.”

BE A CLOWN!!! …

Add Redford to the cast of eco-crites (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 5.58am)

Subject: Robert Redford, James Cameron.
Links: 4.
Embedded videos: 4.
Content: 493 words.
Quoted content: 392 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 101 words (20.48681%).

“It’s circus, isn’t it?”

BRING ON THE DANCING GIRLS!!! …

Rudd followed the US line, and blew it on Egypt (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 6.25am)

Subject: Kevin Rudd.
Links: 9.
Content: 1158 words.
Quoted content: 864 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 294 words (25.38860%).

“Keep on the hop, and if you flop, and everything looks black, stand on your head and holler “Hi there!” Be a jumping jack!”

BRING ON THE DANCING HORSES!!!! …

Take the car inadvertently off them (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.02am)

Subject: I’m fucked if I know.
Links: 1.
Content: 162 words.
Quoted content: 143 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 19 words (11.72839%).

“You better let Birdie bandage up the pixie if you want to say good bye to our boyfriend!”

AND NOW, A HIGH WIRE ACT!!! …

Army takes over Egypt in the name of democracy (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.05am)

Subject: Egypt.
Links: 4.
Content: 315 words.
Quoted content: 284 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 31 words (9.84126%).

“I’d hate to have your nerve in a tooth!”

PICK A CARD, ANY CARD!!!!…

Teaching children the language of futility (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.47am)

Subject: China, Chinese languages.
Links: 2.
Content: 582 words.
Quoted content: 532 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 50 words (8.59106%).

“Hey! Don’t crowd, mister! Can’t you see an elephant or do I have to paint her red?”

POPCORN!! GET YA POPCORN!!!! …

Apart from this terrorism and race riots it’s made Britain much better (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 9.23am)

Subject: Muslims, falafels.
Links: 1.
Content: 202 words.
Quoted content: 174 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 28 words (13.86138%).

“How long do you think this can go on before something happens?”

AND NOW, FOR THE BIG FINALE!!!!! …

That’s big (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 9.29am)

Subject: A very big fucking storm.
Links: 1.
Satellite photograph: 1.
Content: 99 words.
Quoted content: 94 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 5 words (5.05050%).

“Blow up your water wings, girls, here comes the big wave!”

Andrew Bolt …

“A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it “The Greatest Show on Earth.”

Andrew Bolt.

Making Seymour Hersh look like … Seymour Hersh.

Since before you were born.

Tags: , , , , ,

The Horror!

Feb 1

Posted by cosmicjester in Unexplainable | 8 Comments

Something is worrying Andrew Bolt.

I can’t tell you how racist and dangerous this is. I mean that literally. Legal reasons prevent me.

This sounds terrible whatever it is.

So what is it that is so concerning? Is it

a) race based attacks in Sydney

b) police officers using racial profiling

c) dancing aboriginal football players

If you guessed c you are correct.

One wonders what horrors go through Bolt’s mind when he sees Hula dancing, or the moonwalk.

Tags:

Whistle while you work

Nov 18

Posted by Ross Sharp in Foreign matter, Media | 7 Comments

Consider the following post from Andrew Bolt’s blog. It comprises a 118 word quote from a Yahoo news story, and nothing else …

Comments are not being accepted.

The post is entitled “No comment”.

Which seems to indicate that even Mr. Bolt is reluctant to “comment” upon the very item he himself has posted. And so, we may be rightly justified in asking ourselves, “Why is it so? For what purpose has this been posted by Mr. Bolt?” …

“A pure hand needs no glove to cover it” – Nathanial Hawthorne

Indeed.

Tags: , , , , , ,