Archive for category The Internet

The Internet Show

Seriously, this is a thing.

I was curious, so I downloaded a brochure (which I need to provide an email, phone number, job title and company to do. I am a freelance #SocialMediaExpert, in case anyone asks). I gave them my details so that you don’t have to.

Check out this cute little word cloud:

We know internet words

Choice quotes such as:

As consumers open up to new channels, you’re under pressure to develop a social strategy that works and delivers real ROI.

Discover how to turn your business social. Attend Australia’s only dedicated social media conference! At Social Media World Melbourne, you’ll learn how to leverage and monetise social media. How to modernise your marketing. Your brand. Your enterprise.

And such informative social media seminars like:

But my laughter quickly turned to shock when I saw the involvement of this “friend of the internet show”

#OhParis

Tags: ,

What we need

Whoever it was decided to put a MUTE button on the remote control of a television set is deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize.

The MUTE button has relieved me of the tedium of listening to anything that has been said by Tony Abbott since he began banging on about the Brisbane flood levy from a couple months ago.

The MUTE button did save me from the sad and sorry spectacle of listening to more than about 12 seconds of Senator Mary Jo Fisher’s interpretive dance speech from a week or so ago, after which I switched channels to spare me the visceral horror of the visuals.

The MUTE button is my friend.

The MUTE button may well be proof that there is indeed a God, and that He/She/It is most definitely a compassionate deity.

Praise be to the MUTE button.

But we need another thing.

We need a MUTE button for the internet.

You would set up your internet MUTE button by inputting the names of anyone you could not give a flying fuck about and of whom you are sick and tired of hearing every time you click to a news site (I’m thinking Judy Moran, any Ibrahim brother who gets shot, Charlie fucking Sheen or any other dipshit celebrity having a public meltdown, a whole raft of politicians, pundits, property developers, Harvey Norman, Andrew Bolt, Pauline Hanson, anything even remotely associated with the television series “Underbelly” and so forth). And then, when you click upon a news site to find some actual fucking NEWS about some actual fucking STUFF, your MUTE button would filter any story containing those names from the page.

You could also input by subject. For example, “GREAT BIG NEW TAX!”.

Your very own, highly personalised internet filter, if you will.

I think this is an excellent idea.

Someone go make it.

Please.

Tags: , , , ,

How does he do it?!?

Australia’s most incisive investigative reporter, social and media commentator extraordinaire, Mr. Andrew Bolt, receives over O!N!E! M!I!L!L!I!O!N! H!I!T!S A! D!A!Y! on his supremely successful online media presence, the imaginatively titled “Andrew Bolt Blog”!

How does he do it, you may ask yourself, you may indeed, yessirree, you may!

Wonder no more, I say, for enlightenment is what I offer you fine people and gentle folks today! Roll up! Roll up! And walk this way! For an elixir for all that ails you is on offer this fine day! (Children under 15 admitted free! Hooray! Hooray!)

LET THE SHOW BEGIN!!! …

Bush was right and the Left wrong: Arabs want democracy too (Monday, January 31, 2011, 7.14pm)

Subject: The genius of George Bush.
Links: 3.
Content: 573 words.
Quoted content: 487 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 86 words (15.00872%).

“Clowns are funny people, they only love once.”

ROOOOOLLLLLLLL UP!!! …

Obama tells a green lie (Monday, January 31, 2011, 9.33pm)

Subject: Barack Obama.
Links: 3.
Content: 595 words.
Quoted Content: 504 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 91 words (15.29411%).

“When things go wrong, and life’s no song, and you’re flat on your back, that doesn’t mean you have to lie there: be a jumping jack!”

AND FOR OUR NEXT TRICK!!!! ….

I shall fight on the beaches, I shall fight in the hills (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 5.53am)

Subject: Julia Gillard.
Links: 1.
Content: 99 words.
Quoted content: 99 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 0 words (0.00000%).

“Your legs are too thin, your hair is too red, you have lips like a cat. You’re no good. You give me too much trouble.”

BE A CLOWN!!! …

Add Redford to the cast of eco-crites (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 5.58am)

Subject: Robert Redford, James Cameron.
Links: 4.
Embedded videos: 4.
Content: 493 words.
Quoted content: 392 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 101 words (20.48681%).

“It’s circus, isn’t it?”

BRING ON THE DANCING GIRLS!!! …

Rudd followed the US line, and blew it on Egypt (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 6.25am)

Subject: Kevin Rudd.
Links: 9.
Content: 1158 words.
Quoted content: 864 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 294 words (25.38860%).

“Keep on the hop, and if you flop, and everything looks black, stand on your head and holler “Hi there!” Be a jumping jack!”

BRING ON THE DANCING HORSES!!!! …

Take the car inadvertently off them (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.02am)

Subject: I’m fucked if I know.
Links: 1.
Content: 162 words.
Quoted content: 143 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 19 words (11.72839%).

“You better let Birdie bandage up the pixie if you want to say good bye to our boyfriend!”

AND NOW, A HIGH WIRE ACT!!! …

Army takes over Egypt in the name of democracy (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.05am)

Subject: Egypt.
Links: 4.
Content: 315 words.
Quoted content: 284 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 31 words (9.84126%).

“I’d hate to have your nerve in a tooth!”

PICK A CARD, ANY CARD!!!!…

Teaching children the language of futility (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 7.47am)

Subject: China, Chinese languages.
Links: 2.
Content: 582 words.
Quoted content: 532 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 50 words (8.59106%).

“Hey! Don’t crowd, mister! Can’t you see an elephant or do I have to paint her red?”

POPCORN!! GET YA POPCORN!!!! …

Apart from this terrorism and race riots it’s made Britain much better (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 9.23am)

Subject: Muslims, falafels.
Links: 1.
Content: 202 words.
Quoted content: 174 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 28 words (13.86138%).

“How long do you think this can go on before something happens?”

AND NOW, FOR THE BIG FINALE!!!!! …

That’s big (Tuesday, February 1, 2011, 9.29am)

Subject: A very big fucking storm.
Links: 1.
Satellite photograph: 1.
Content: 99 words.
Quoted content: 94 words.
Andrew Bolt original content: 5 words (5.05050%).

“Blow up your water wings, girls, here comes the big wave!

Andrew Bolt …

“A mechanized army on wheels, that rolls over any obstacle in its path, that meets calamity again and again, but always comes up smiling. A place where disaster and tragedy stalk the big top, haunt the backyard, and ride the circus train. Where death is constantly watching for one frayed rope, one weak link, or one trace of fear. A fierce, primitive fighting force that smashes relentlessly forward against impossible odds. That is the circus. And this is the story of the biggest of the big tops, and of the men and women who fight to make it “The Greatest Show on Earth.”

Andrew Bolt.

Making Seymour Hersh look like … Seymour Hersh.

Since before you were born.

Tags: , , , , ,

The Queensland Floods shows that we should scrap government programs that I dont like.

Back in the forgotten age of 2009, the state of Victoria had been ravaged by bushfires and the Prime Minister of the day announced his governments response. Amongst the standard stuff, Kevin Rudd made the mistake of briefly linking the second stimulus package with the bushfire reconstruction. A few government backbenchers got in the act saying at the doors that voting against the stimulus was letting Victorians down, but the condemnation for linking bushfire recovery to a partisan political issue of the day was swift and this line was quickly abandoned.

Tony Abbott, never being one for subtlety is doing the exact same thing with the Queensland floods and the National Broadband Network.

Federal Opposition Leader Tony Abbott has called on the government to scrap its multibillion-dollar National Broadband Network (NBN) to help fund the Queensland flood recovery.

With the damage bill for the recovery effort estimated to run into the billions of dollars, Mr Abbott called for government expenditure to be “reprioritised “, starting with the costly NBN.

Tony Abbott is right that the commitments to rebuild after the floods will mean hard decisions will have to be made.  But isn’t it oh so convenient that the government program he is calling on to be scrapped is the most partisan issue in federal politics at the moment and one that he already opposed long before the floods. It’s perhaps the most blatant case of concern trolling from an Australian political leader.

It would be harder to doubt Abbott’s sincerity if he was advocating cutting a government program that he had previously been a passionate advocate for. But do you really think Abbott would support cutting our Afghanistan excursion, the baby bonus, the school chaplain program or the don’t abort your baby phone service? Of course not, he only wants to make the hard sacrifices on the stuff he doesn’t like.

The arguments for and against the NBN are still valid after the flood. Either its a vital investment in infrastructure that will pay for itself or a needlessly expensive white elephant. If the money is quickly recouped after thing is privatised then it is hardly wasted money, but if you are of Abbott’s view that it is money down the drain then the Queensland floods has nothing to do with that.

Its trying to push a false argument onto the people of the towns that have lost everything. Its trying to trick them into thinking that there is a choice between fixing their communities or the NBN, and if that was the choice obviously they would pick the former. But we are a prosperous country and we can afford to do both. Just like there isn’t talk of cutting back on the military or health care to pay for reconstruction, because they are very separate issues.

But hey, whats the point of having natural disasters if you arent gonna try and get a few votes from it hey Tony.

Tags: , ,

Groupthink movie review – Tron Legacy

Belated Happy Christmases and Merry New Years Groupthinkers. Its been a tad quiet of late as we all deal with the family issues and hangovers common for this time of year, so lets warm things up with a movie review.

The original Tron is one of those movies that everyone has heard of, but very few people have actually seen. It wasnt a hit but is well known for being the first movie to rely heavily on CGI a full 13 years before Toy Story. I have tried to watch it, twice and although it is obvious that the technology for the effects were cutting edge for their day, but now they look like something that came out of an Atari 2600. It didnt really have an engaging story from what I could tell beyond “computer guy gets zapped into computer and learns to play digital frisbee and motorcycle against bad digital people”.

Nostalgia being what it is, with even Tron getting a cult following Disney greenlit a sequel with the hope that cashed up 80′s babies like myself (minus the cashed up) would pay 25 bucks to see a 3D sequel.

So whats the latest one about? The kid of the guy from then first Tron movie is fatherless after his dad got sucked into Tron 20 years back. The dads software company has since turned into an arrogant Apple or Microsoft instead of a fun loving video game developer and the son is a motorbike riding warez fiend who steals the companies new OS and shares it via torrents before it is officially released. Topical. Oh and he has an iPhone like smartphone too.

Kid follows a message from his long lost dad and gets sucked into the computer world where bits and bytes are like living people, or something.

Seriously did anyone who saw this not only follow the story, but actually like it? Bits and bytes that dont follow the orwellian rule of the leader of the computer world are forced to fight in gladitorial games of frisbee and motorcycles, just like the first film. The computer people that lose the games are then erased, which made me think if every time I format by hard drive I might be committing a virtual holocaust? I guess the hard thing about making characters out of computer people is it is hard to make them interesting. All of the dialogue between the characters of the Tron world kind of falls flat.

Luckily most of the movie isnt spend talking but riding around on lightcycles and blowing things up to the music of Daft Punk in funky 3D. This is where the movie truly shines. As a narrative I’d give it two meh’s out of five, but as a 3D feature length Daft Punk film clip its a solid three stars. Spoiler alert, the good guys win and the kid takes a computer girl out of Tron and into the real world, which begs the question, what does a computer girl from Tron have for genitalia?

But I’ll leave the final word to Homer Simpson.

It’s the end of the (retail) world as we know it

A lot is being said about the massive own goal by Gerry Harvey and other members of the retail cartel and their current lobbying to impose the GST on overseas sales under $1000. Mostly angry, at the nerve of one of Australia’s richest men trying to bully the government into changing the tax laws to work in his favour. It is beginning to looks like one of the biggest PR fuckups since Alexander Downer started joking about domestic violence.

But Gerry’s latest whinging is just another example on how the global economy has changed in the last 20 years. We have heard the same doom mongering as traditional manufacturing jobs have gone offshore to cheaper locations, that it would lead to continual high unemployment and no prospects for a generation of workers. What happened was different, processing went to where it was cheapest, consumers benefited from lower prices and the services sector in the domestic economy increased to make up for the loss in manufacturing. Small mercy for the thousands of workers who never recovered but overall life went on.

Now globalisation is making it hard for rich white man and he wants the rules changed for his favour. Well sorry it doesn’t work like that Gerry. You benefited from decreased tariffs by buying more of your goods overseas, you benefited when the high Aussie dollar meant you could source the plasma’s for your store cheaper. You have made a mint from outsourcing and international trade, but now that a very small minority of consumers are outsourcing their shopping NOW its unfair. What Gerry is saying is that he, and only he is allowed to benefit from the high Aussie dollar and free trade.

So why are overseas sales under a grand GST free you ask? Well put simply if we taxes all small online sales the costs of collecting the tax would be more than any increased tax take. It would require a massive increase in staff at customs to inspect any package that could possibly be avoiding the GST. But a level playing field isn’t Gerry’s goal, he knows that complying with Australia’s tax paperwork for these small overseas operations would be too costly and many of them would simply stop shipping to Australia. It’s rent seeking from an old fool who didnt update his business to succeed in the changing conditions.

This was Gerry Harvey just two years ago on online sales.

Despite a growing number of Australians purchasing goods over the internet, he says online retailing is “a complete waste of time”.

“I’ve got an online part of my business, but I definitely would not put more into it. That’d be a recipe for a disaster.”

“Online people do not make any money,” Harvey also told SmartCompany. “The whole world was conned with online retailing. People say I’m a dinosaur, and I’ve had people coming to me with sites and saying, ‘Oh, look at this, they have 10,000 or 20,000 hits!’ – but it’s a con, a complete con.”

He saw the internet as a fad, he was wrong and smarter people made the right decisions for their business. Boo hoo. And its not just the GST that is killing him. Just compare Harvey Normans prices to domestic e-tailers like Eyo or Umart or even other bricks and mortar stores like JB Hifi that are doing very well. Your business isn’t being run as efficiently as others. Don’t blame the consumer. Or as I said on twitter.

Dear Gerry Harvey, here is the worlds smallest violin playing just for you. I bought it online and saved a bundle.

Tags: , ,

More to gain than lose from new technology

As new technology enters our everyday lives, there is usually a predictable paranoia about how a government and other sinister forces could use technology to repress the citizens. In America there is currently a backlash against the new body scanners being used in airports by the TSA. Similar backlashes and concerns for privacy have occurred due to the growing use of CCTV in the United Kingdom and in many countries (including Australia) whenever the government considers introducing a universal identification card for its citizens. The paranoia is understandable, but although privacy and civil liberties should always be a concern, the technology that causes such concerns may have more advantages at freeing information and keeping governments honest and accountable.

Last week when the most direct fighting broke out between North Korean and South Korean troops since the ceasefire in 1953 it wasn’t hard to notice that the way we were seeing the fighting being reported was different than it had ever been before. Unlike previous skirmishes we were not limited to waiting until after a conflict had occurred and reading or hearing a summary the next day in the newspaper or on the 6pm news bulletin. A combination of fast internet and social media was telling us what was happening on the South Korean island of Yeonpyeong in real time. On twitter helpful volunteers translated Korean to English faster than any news service and gave anyone interested an almost instantaneous view of what was happening as it was happening.

This is effecting governments in how they control the flow of information. Going back even as recent as ten years ago a similar incident of cross border fighting would have been dissected through official military liaisons to the media, giving governments an upper hand in how these incidents are reported. But now with the almost complete democratisation of information thanks to technology, the government can still try and influence how events are reported, but they are only one voice among many. The South Korean defence minister experienced this first hand, as pressure and criticism from the delay in returning fire on North Korean forces and the decision not to call in an air strike, he was forced to resign from his position a mere two days after the incident. Although social media didn’t cost Kim Tae-young his job, it did greatly increase the speed and wealth of information getting out that led to his resignation. This is a far cry from the time when the United States led a bombing campaign against Cambodia a secret from its citizens as recently as 1969. Keeping such a thing a secret is almost impossibility today in our hyper-connected world, and this leads to faster and more accurate criticism from an informed populace.

North Korea is one of the most repressive countries on the planet. Almost everything its citizens know about the outside world comes from official government sources. Its government goes to great lengths to keep any news coming from outside well beyond the reach of its citizens, less it undermine the official government line that North Korea is an idealised paradise that is the envy of the world, or that Kim Jong Il is some sort of demigod who scored 11 holes in 1 on his first game of golf, and that he doesn’t urinate or defecate.

The government issues radios that are hard tuned to government broadcasts and conducts random checks on its citizens to ensure that tech savvy individuals haven’t figured out how to tune into South Korean radio. There is no internet access for the average North Korean and due to the technological backwardness of the country the government has done an effective job in making sure that its citizens are largely ignorant of the outside world.

Slowly however, even in Stalinist North Korea this is changing, but not due to any position of its government but controlling the flow of information is becoming impossibility due to today’s technology. North Koreans who have escaped to South Korea in recent years have told that smuggled video cassettes, DVD’s, USB sticks and mp3 players have become more common in recent years. All of these pirated music, movies and other information may not seem important, but in a country where the only role of art is to glorify the state and the leader anything from outside can show North Koreans that the outside world is happier, healthier and richer than them. It can help break the illusion that the government tries to maintain.

A hacked North Korean radio that can pick up outside broadcasts may be too hard to hide for a North Korean citizen that is terrified of its government. A smuggled USB stick however could contain the complete works of Shakespeare, the deceleration of independence and thousands of other key texts and all in one small form that can easily be hidden from government authorities. In another 10 or 20 years technological change in how we pass on information could have improved in ways that we can’t currently imagine. Whilst I don’t think usb sticks and laptops alone can bring down the North Korean government, it may make it much harder for the government to be as repressive as it is with a more informed populace thanks to modern technology.

Wouldn’t it be an amazing thing if five years from now cheap and superfast and dirt cheap handheld computers the size of an iPhone smuggled from China are easily found in the North Korean black market, and with this they could get a clearer view of the outside world and the true horrors of their oppressive regime? With this device there would be enough space to store virtual libraries, newspaper archives (as well as pirated movies and music) as well as pick up South Korean radio and television broadcasts. Wishful thinking maybe, but thanks to technology and globalisation it isn’t science fiction and it could change the lives of the North Korean people and be a catalyst of change in the direction of the country.

Tags: , ,

The robots know …

Just out of curiosity, and prompted by something I spotted on a film site, I was looking up a little information on the film “Maniac” over at Amazon, a 1980′s slasher flick I probably won’t see, and in the “related items” section for “maniac” products, up comes this …

The internets. Dangerously intuitive, and most definitely of the left.

The mockery. It burns.

Tags: , ,

Earning a living in a world of free

As it says in my bio, I am a musician. Living in Sydney, I play in four bands three of which are the kind of bands you regularly see playing in pubs and similar such venues. In years gone by it would’ve been considered normal, I guess, for someone in my position to be dreaming of getting a record contract with a respected record label and to graduate from there to rocking around the world. That’s certainly the conventional narrative. Personally, that’s about the last thing I want to get involved with.

It shouldn’t really be news to anyone to say that the business model of the recording industry is rather outdated and useless. It relied upon a whole bunch of artists desperate enough for exposure that they’d be willing or ignorant enough to saddle themselves with tens of thousands of dollars of debt to a record company in exchange for a small chance that they would be one of the bands that are successful, a relative term at best – even bands that sold many copies of their records could have large amounts owing to the record company. The model also required a distribution and marketing system that was controlled by or at least sympathetic to the record companies. This was not just record shops but radio stations and other media that would provide space for both paid and unpaid promotion of bands and artists.

The growth and mainstreaming of the internet along with the digitalisation of music has done much to undermine this business model on the distribution end, while the increasing power of personal computers and programs such as Apple’s Garageband and Pro Tools has reduced the need for musicians to submit themselves to recording companies for the privilege of making a reasonable quality recording of their songs. While it wouldn’t be true to say that record companies are dead and buried, they are under assault on a number of fronts and, as they say, desperate times call for desperate measures.

The reason I write this is that, this morning on twitter, journalist Margaret Simons posted on twitter some questions from her university students. One question asked was “are print journalists biased against social media. e.g. @grogsgamut.” Two interesting replies I saw came from Nick Hodge

“traditional” journalists are worried about how they will earn a living in a world of free. Social Media is latest vector

and Nina Field

be crazy not to feel uncomfortable abt someone offering what they do as professionals for free

While contemplating those answers it occurred to me that there are similar issues being faced by the media and the music industries as a result of changing technology and, more specifically, the internet. In both cases the access to platforms for publishing are similar for both professionals and amateurs, old business models of the large employers who formed the backbone of the industry are under serious threat and may be fatally flawed, and those in charge of those companies often seem hopelessly lost, unable to imagine a way to adapt to the changes, left resorting to protectionist urges and defensive positioning, stances that are only serving to distance them from their customers.

As a musician who doesn’t have the backing of a monolithic record label, I have no choice but to accept that people will share any music I record for free, reducing the amount I can earn from selling copies of those recordings. Also, there are a lot of pretty ordinary bands playing in pubs that are probably willing to play for little to no decent pay thus under cutting the ability of quality bands to demand more reasonable rates for our hard work. Indeed, I’m a part of the “problem” in that I and my bands will play those under paying gigs if it means we’re playing in a good venue to a decent audience.

We’ll even play at gigs like this where no one is thinking about making money but just enjoying themselves and stretching the boundaries of what people consider to be a valid music experience. That particular party had about seven or eight different stages going making it, in one sense, a bigger production than the big day out festival. To extend that further, in multicultural Australia, there are many other examples one can think of where non-professionals play music, sometimes singing and dancing and carrying on like they’re having fun, for no financial reward what so ever. To view musical expression exclusively through the prism of being a paid professional would be to severely limit the nature of cultural expression. Similarly, to view engagement in public affairs as a matter of professionals producing product to be bought by customers in a one way transaction is a limiting and dated view of public life and political engagement.

As a musician, I know I have to have a diverse range of skills and be creative (outside of musical composition) if I want to make a living in the music industry. Many people who I know who play in bands, who want to work in the industry, work as music teachers, in music shops, for staging and event production companies as roadies, instrumental techs, and in other roles requiring technical expertise. In addition to that, even though there are many musicians that work for peanuts, many people still value the kind of quality that you get from a professional musician who has studied their craft

Yes journalism is going through a series of fundamental changes, yes that is a threat to the fundamental business models and structures of years gone by, but the way forward for professional journalism lies in accepting that the world has changed, that that change will not be reversed, and that there will be valuable opportunities and roles for those that can adapt the way they work and operate.

Tags: , ,