Archive for category Technology

Internet v3.0, a preview

by Ross Sharp on 1 March 2010
Categories: Media, Politics, Technology | Tags: ,

December 12, 2010

Re: Internet usage infringement notification

Dear Mr. Sharp,

Thank you for choosing iiNET as your service provider.

In accordance with current Federal Government Communications regulations, we are now obliged to examine the browsing history of all iiNET customers to ensure that appropriate community standards of decency are being maintained and that inappropriate, obscene, illegal or offensive material is not being accessed.

On October 14, 2010, you accessed a YouTube page containing the words “Adolescent Sex”. Before we report this information to the appropriate Federal authorities, we seek clarification about the type of material you were accessing and would request you contact us immediately to provide us with further information.

Kind Regards,
The Team at iiNET

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Problems solved

by Scott Bridges on 27 February 2010
Categories: Technology | Tags: , ,

Facebook has been used to say nasty things. There are calls to ban its use by certain people and in certain situations.

Fair enough. Let’s follow this through to its obvious conclusion.

Swearing

Swearing

 To be banned:

  • Speaking
  • Air

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Why are Youse Surprised?

by Trevor McDonald on 25 February 2010
Categories: Media, Society, Technology | Tags: ,

Don’t get me wrong (because Im never wrong) but the two recent terrible tragedies involving our youngsters have been shocking and heart wrenching for their families and towns/communities. But you know what gets on my goat about the whole thing (apart from the evil little cunts who done it) its the fucken Facebook dedication pages.

Now In my time if you had died your mates and you step mums would put the hat around and put some death notices in the local rag. Now with the generation of the internet (Facebook) people can leave dedication notices on purpose specific Facebook (forums) outlining their grief and emotions (with grief appropriate emoticons too). While there is nothing wrong with this what gets on my quince is that people are surprised when these Facebook Dedication Pages are infiltrated by all sorts of nasty characters and hyperlinks (links that you click on to go to what is called a ‘webpage’).Like, what the fucken hell does you expect. You know like the real life, that the internet is filled with all sorts of nasty things and people who use the internet. Put something in the paper instead you know.

Plus I said to my ex defacto recently that if I died that I don’t want a Facebook dedication page. Just like I didn’t want her to dedicate love songs to me on the Fox FM.

A more important Topical Debate is Does You Think Steven Conways Internet Filter is going to stop these gallutes spamming Facebook Dedication Pages?

Youse be the Judges:

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iFad? No, iVerydisappointed

by Bob Dumpling on 1 February 2010
Categories: Corporations, Media, Music, Technology | Tags: , , , ,

Well the iPad has arrived but can you hear that noise? It’s the sound of Apple losing their shit after reading Alan Kohler in Business Spectator. Yep, worse than David Pogue ranting about AT&T or another Hitler/Downfall video bemusing on the lack of camera & multi-tasking… the worst has happened. Alan Kohler is disappointed in the iPad.

It seems Kohler already bought a Tablet (like an HP or something, whatever “the iPad looks like just another tablet computer”) and hated it… and having filled his home with iMacs and Macbooks, he really hoped for something extra special. But the iPad, from what he has seen, fails to live up to his high-technicolour dreams.

Worse still, Kohler is pretty sure that the iPad is not going to save newspapers. I know that’s what we all hoped for, in fact, for as long as I can remember Steve Jobs has always said that more than anything else, he wanted to ensure the ongoing stability and prosperity of global media enterprises.

So the ‘Tablet’ (which he insists on continuing to call it post-keynote) must indeed be a bitter pill for Alan Kohler to swallow. But if this article with it’s infantile, “I hate the way the world is heading, where’s my mummy?” tone makes you want to stab something… lock up your kitchen ware because that other giant of Australian business journalism, Michael Pascoe wrote an absolute doosey last week.

Pascoe thinks Apple is “an IT gadget company” with the temerity to (I know, this is incredible) over charge innocent Aussie consumers.

As far as reality denial goes, this is an extra special article. I’m sure you have heard of Melody Gardot? I hadn’t but I live in the suburban equivalent of an iron lung so to me any cultural reference point is like mainlining speed. Anyway, Ms Gardot has a massive is on the cusp of a massive singing career which is being totally hampered by Apple iTunes Australia’s barbaric pricing structure. I know, it’s shocking. Read it and embrace the rage.

But seriously, this would be valid were it not for the teensy-wincey fact that Australian’s are used to being rogered by music publishers, book publishers and all sorts of other protected entities. The other fact that our elder statesmen of Australian journalism can dabble a bit in the world of tech-journo and appear so out of touch, makes me disappointed that the death of media isn’t all that deadly.

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Mental health and markets: two kinds of failure

by David F on 31 January 2010
Categories: Health, Science, Society, Technology |

It’s nice that the Federal Government has given a gong to Pat McGorry, but our country’s commitment to psychiatric treatment remains at the level of mere lip service. I read with interest a recent newspaper article reporting on the Federal Government’s scheme for giving subsidies to private psychologists. This program began in 2006, in response to widespread evidence of a ‘crisis’ in mental health. Psychiatric problems constituted a vast percentage of overall health burden in Australia, yet were systematically under-funded (in proportional terms). The then-Howard Government arranged for psychologists operating in private practice to be subject to Medicare rebates for the first time. The aim here was to allow the private system to pick up the slack for an over-burdened public system. These are the results:

MEDICARE spending on psychological therapy will blow out to $1.5 billion by 2011, twice its budget allocation, according to a new analysis.

Despite the huge investment – three times the original five-year estimates when the scheme began in 2006 – the Federal Government has not released any evidence that the consultations are improving mental health…

Long consultations with psychologists grew fastest – by 32 per cent. But they were used disproportionately by city dwellers, with country people only about 60 per cent as likely to attend them.

The analysis also shows patients are being hit by out-of-pocket expenses likely to be prohibitive for those on lower incomes – an average $35 for 50 minutes with a psychologist.

This result is not surprising, and I’d like to touch on two related points to elucidate the origins of this costly failure:

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Kindleing

by Ross Sharp on 15 December 2009
Categories: Technology | Tags: , , ,

Many years ago, when I was sharing a flat, my flatmate got himself a gig as part of a crew to sail a yacht from Sydney to the Philippines.

Before he set out, he asked if he could borrow one of my books to take with him and could I recommend something. I gave him Paul Theroux’s “Happy Isles of Oceania”, and off he went.

And, a few weeks later, back he came. As did my book. A little the worse for wear, dog-eared cover, broken spine, pages yellowed from exposure to the elements, smelling of the sea, of salt, you wouldn’t pay fifty cents for this book from a market stall.

I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind at all. It was still in one piece. It could still be read. It was still a “book”. And back on the shelf it went. With all the other books.

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Come fly the crowded skies

by David Bonnici on 18 November 2009
Categories: Corporations, Technology | Tags: , , , , ,

When Boeing first introduced its 747 in the late 1960s, it presented a future of luxury flying. A spiral staircase led to a swanky lounge area that looked like a super cool bachelor’s lair, where you spent long trans-continental flights chatting up fellow jetsetters while swirling ice in martinis.

Assume the brace position

Assume the brace position

Of course three decades later we know the reality is a little different. For most of us the spiral staircase, which leads to business class, is merely a cause for envy as are herded into cattle class areas resembling a student squat with seats barely more comfortable than stolen milk crates. And the closest we ever come to bar chat at 38,000 ft is going to galley to beg for a Bundy and Coke from uncaring Qantas stewards who prefer we sleep all the way from Hong Kong to London.

So it was with much scepticism that I viewed similar presentations from Airbus Industries about its giant A-380, which showed an airborne dream world of bars, gyms, massage rooms, cinemas and private bedrooms that will allow you to join the mile high club even of you’re not a contortionist with a penchant for fucking in filthy toilets.

First thing I thought was, nah, they’ll just shove more seats in the gargantuan bus of the skies. Sadly I was right. French airline Air Austral will be stuffing 840 seats in its all-economy superjumbos and it won’t be the only airline to do so.

While many see this as an efficient, environmentally friendly way to transport people around the world, I see nothing but rough skies ahead.

Think all the shit that comes with long-haul flying and double it. Twice as many screaming kids, twice as many fucktards who will storm the gate door when the flight is called forgetting the marvels of ticketing means there will be no shit fight for the best seats and that the plane ain’t going nowhere without them.

There will be twice as many fools who reckon 21ABCD actually says 34EFGH and will actually think you’re being unreasonable when you ask if they can get out of your seat.

There will be twice as many greedy people filling overhead lockers with Krispy Kreme donuts meaning you’ll have to walk half a kilometre to find a place for your bag, twice as many spivs in suits arguing with cabin crew about using their mobile phones and laptops on take off, and twice the chance of suffering concussion from a backpack strapped to the back of an idiot with poor spatial judgement (true story, once on a Virgin Blue flight a woman did that to me and when I yelled “Ouch, watch it would you?” it turned out to be the lovely Sigrid Thornton – the bitch).

The chances of sitting next to a fat bastard who has over-active sweat glands and no sense of personal space will double, as will the likelihood of being subjected to advice about the real estate market, the-next-big-thing racehorses and where to find the best prostitutes in Macau.

Then when you get to the other end you’ll have landed with three other 840 seat A-380s meaning you’ll have to queue up behind the entire population of Tenterfield to clear immigration and customs.

My advice is when you next book your next flight choose an airline that flies 350-seat A-330s or 777s.

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“The world of Google” – a chilling vision of things to come.

by Molesworth on 30 October 2009
Categories: Technology | Tags: , ,

The Google™ Clock buzzed. Damien opened his eyes, frustrated to be awoken from his recurring dreams of threesomes in Parisian bathtubs.

“Good morning Damien!” intoned his Google™ brand coffee machine.

“Latte!” he barked, for he cared not for the feelings of this emotionless consumer item. The machine whirred into action.

“Emails!” he shouted.

“You have (4) new emails!” buzzed the coffee machine. Damien switched on the monitor of his Google™ computer and logged into his GMail account. Three emails were from supermodels desperate to make use of his enormous genitals. He groaned and marked them as “spam”. The fourth email was far more interesting – would be interested in a Google™ credit card?

Why, indeed he would.

Twenty minutes later new credit card arrived, courtesy of Google™ post. How thoughtful of Prime Minister Tuckey to remove the stranglehold of Australia Post he ruminated. With interest of 6.5% for the first year (453% interest p.a thereafter), this deal was unbeatable. The cavalcade of thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his Google™ Phone.

“Damien!” Alicia shrilled into the earpiece “Have you taken your Google™ Viagra yet?”

“Curse you woman, for you are insatiable” he boomed into the receiver “I only just woke up.”

Damien didn’t even wait for a response before slamming his Google™ Phone down. He sighed, before slipping into his Google™ dressing gown and settling down to work. Since signing up for the online Google™ Drive, Damien had no reason to go to the office anymore. Allowing Google™ to sift through the contents of his hard-drive in order to target his advertising more effectively was a small price to pay for avoiding a fifteen minute commute in his chauffeured Google™ Car. Sipping on his Google™ latte he pondered on the existence of the Googleverse™ (formerly “Universe”) and everything that it contained, before springing to his feet with barely controlled glee.

“I can’t believe I just worked out the meaning of life!” he shouted. This was it. Now he would finally be featured in the Sunday Life lift-out – the culmination of a life well spent.

A knock on the door interrupted his jig. Damien answered it, only to find two Google™ Law Enforcement Agents – a most unwelcome surprise. His brow furrowed in annoyance.

“How may I help you officer?” he asked, an air of indifference masking his inner frustration.

“We were legally sifting through the contents of your Google™ Drive when we came across some…. forbidden material.” The agent elongated the last words more than Damien felt was necessary. “As a consequence we’d like to have a brief friendly chat down at the Google™ Re-Education Centre.”

Damien gulped.

“I’m afraid I’m busy” he said, his meek voice belying his muscular frame and hulking presence. Damien turned just as the agent cleared his throat.

“Perhaps you misunderstood” was all that was said before Damien was promptly tasered in the rear.

When he came to he was strapped to the outside of a Google™ Rocket aimed directly at the Sun.

“You’ll never get away with this!” he roared to no-one “One day people will learn of the folly of putting all their trust behind a search engine! Who could have foreseen Google going mad with power and taking over the planet? WHO?”

“Launch sequence initiated, in 5, 4, 3, 2….”

“THE PEOPLE WILL NEVER STAND FOR THIS!” he shouted above the roar of rocket engines. This seemed an expensive way to dispose of an Enemy Of The State.

As the rocket launched Damien squeezed his eyes shut, and in the last moments before plunging into the nuclear furnace he fervently wished he’d voted for Apple instead. At least he might have gotten an iPhone.

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