When choosing a raceday outfit ask yourself "what would Jen wear"?

Form and function

All race meetings during the Spring Racing Carnival are held during the day, yet that doesn’t stop women flocking to the lawns wearing evening wear. You’re spending a whole day exposed to the elements so you should dress accordingly. Skimpy cocktail dresses just don’t cut it. You want an outfit that says “I am confident and ready for anything”, however the common message relayed through racing attire is “I am a Latvian prostitute”.

Dress for the weather. Invest in an ensemble that includes a jacket or coat. Alternatively you should have a matching trench coat on hand – this looks fantastic with a ’60s style fitted dress. Just ensure the skirt is a bit longer than the coat so you don’t look like a flasher. In general your skirt should be no shorter than just above knee, especially if you’re going to sit on the lawn – you’re not visiting your gynaecologist.

If it’s hot avoid bare shoulders unless you’re wearing a wide brimmed hat – though if you’re strapless and wearing a fascinator the chronic sunburn you’ll suffer is God’s way of having a laugh.

The reveal

As far as guys are concerned, fashion labels, designers and fabrics mean bugger all when compared to the cleavage your dress shows, so be sure to show a bit. However, don’t reveal too much flesh and ensure your puppies are held firm and don’t jump around like a stallion at the starting gate. Maintain some mystery and keep it classy ladies. Sideboob is a definite no no! You’re going to the races, not the Brownlow Medal!

Remember, smart is sexy; cute is sexy. Deliberate sexy isn’t sexy.

Wearing a dress that looks like a petticoat adds to the indignity.

Colours

Go the opposite of what you’d wear at night. Don’t even think of wearing the bridesmaid dress you wore at your sister’s wedding. Pastels, floral prints, and pale earthen tones always work well outdoors, while polka dots are great if you want to display more vibrant hues. That said, feel free to consider darker or vivid colours if you have lovely pale skin; this is a far better option than Oompa Loompa-inducing fake tan – navy, shocking pink and purple work well. Try to avoid black, which is so common in Melbourne all year. This is a great time to express yourself with a bit of colour without looking like some Gold Coast trollop.

Footwear

You want your shoes to be stylish, but be sure that you select a pair that you’ll able to wear home. Shoes slung over sunburned shoulders at 5pm are a pathetic look regardless of how drunk you are. And think safety – walking across the lawn at Flemington at the end of proceedings means risking exposure to broken bottles, food scraps and all manner of bodily fluids.

Accessories

Your dress, bag and hat only need complement each other and don’t all have to be the same colour or pattern. If you take a bag make sure it’s easy to carry and keep secure. A clutch can be risky if you’re going to drink a lot. Remember, while you will be most concerned if you lose your bag, no one will give a shit except maybe some guy trying to hit on you – though even he will be pretending.

If you want to stand out a little try an elegant pair of matching silk gloves.

Fancy dress

Only a fuckwit would go to the races in fancy dress. And there is a special place in Hell reserved for those who attend in fancy dress as a group with the one themed look.

Tags: derby day, dresses, Fashion, ladies, racing. melbourne cup, style, women