Welcome new year to you. I wont use ‘pwned’ because that is so 2009 and I like to stay with the times. I’ve finally got around to finding a player that plays DVD’s from hard rubbish. I thought it was time I gave this ‘fad’ a go. Wayne still has his beta max and a fine collection of porn for example “Farmer’s Daughter’s”. (I also went to the pictures)

Farmer’s Daughter’s: Good. A coming of age story about a farmer who is in debt to a bank and is about to lose his farm in the midwest. He has 3 lovely daughters (one is a virgin) and one day a man knocks on the door whose car has broken down on the highway. He tells the farmer he is a travelling salesman and after a few drinks comes up with a plan to save the Farmer’s farm. You see, he sells porn and together the farmer films his daughters having sex with the travelling salesman so they can sell the film. Top watch.

Avatar: Shithouse. Just proves that gimmicks still work in the 21st century. Before James Camerson’s next film he will hand out cool aid.

Man on Wire: Good. A story about a frog who can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Tyson: Good. One for all the family. A story about a boy genius who knew at a young age he was destined for gaol. But fucken hell he can punch quick. There is footage of him being trained by old man Cus and he punches the heavy bag 5 times quicker than a blink.

Nineteen 84: Confusing.

Just Married: Good. Fine acting from Brittany Murphey RIP and Ashton Coucher. A story with many turns and with a twist of lemon. Intelligent film making with original storyline and premise. The cinematography is par excellance.

Accidental Goat Sodomy: Shithouse.

Juno: Shithouse. Boring dialouge. Boring actress. Sounds like it was written by a stripper. Not original.

Sherlock Homes: Shithouse. Sherlock Homes went after the hound of the baskervilles not a bloke who could do devil magic.

Deadwood: ? My DVD player doesn’t have subtitles.

The James Reyne Story (Starring James Reyne): Good. What more could a bloke want?

Thanks for listening to my film reviews. If you want to debate my points there is a comment section below. All you have to do is type in your opinions and make up a name for yourself. Please provide a valid email address if you’re a bird so I can chat via email later on.

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