1. A shopping centre in Britain installs two squat toilets in response to evidence that its customers are using throne toilets as squat toilets.
  2. Tabloid newspaper Daily Star runs a fair and balanced front page story headlined:

    MUSLIM-ONLY PUBLIC LOOS

  3. Complaints to the Press Complaints Commission are upheld.
  4. The paper is ordered to run the adjudication and a correction.
  5. Daily Star executives, fed up with being complained about, consider withdrawing their membership of the Press Complaints Commission.

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By the way, how good is this line from the BBC article:

Squat toilets are used in many parts of Asia and parts of Europe.

They are not often seen in the UK – which has a strong heritage of pioneering lavatorial invention.