Archive for July, 2010

Welcome to the monkey house

This morning, this country lost its shit. And the culprit?

Benevolent Overlord Jobs and the iPhone 4

Benevolent Overlord Jobs and the iPhone 4

People stood in line, in the cold, to make sure they were the first to fork over their money for this consumer electronic that frankly, isn’t that impressive. People were franticly running around cities to find the only outlet with stock. People were cancelling contracts and changing networks because their network had sold out of the iPhone 4. People were ultimately paying potentially thousands of dollars to get their grubby little (and probably over worked from masturbating) hands on an iPhone 4 the day it was released (as if no more stock will come and their life will be over if they can not have one).

Most of these people had perfectly good old model iPhones. Most of those people were only half way through their contracts and needed to cancel and pay out to upgrade. Or they will now just pay two phone bills.

These people will likely vote.

I think Futurama pretty much nailed it.

But anyway, in case you were wondering if you should buy an iPhone 4 on the day of its release or if you were considering buying one soon, I made a flowchart that should make your decision easier.

Should I buy an iPhone 4

You’re welcome.

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Friday’s Lovechild #13

Okay, the bad news is I’ve been far too busy this week to hatch the customary two Lovechildren. But the good news is I reckon I’ve cracked Idlaviv’s tricky challenge. Wasn’t much I could do about the teeth, of course, but here’s Jaws of James Bond fame:

Arnold Schwarzenegger + Stephen Fry = Jaws

No?

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Spreading the word

Just spent a lovely couple of days in Bam, Iran. Over about a million cups of tea I made the acquaintance of a local guy who speaks pretty good beginner’s English. He keeps a notebook in which he records interesting phrases of English that he hears in movies and from people like me. He was showing me through the notebook and pointed to something from a film.

“This one, ‘She’s something’, is a way of saying that the girl is attractive, yes?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s right. Although it’s fairly American and you wouldn’t really hear it in Australia,” I told him.

“What would you say in Australia?”

“Tap.”

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Election Caption Contest #2: Results

It is time for caption contest results. Before the getting to the winner a couple of special mentions.

Molesworth: Joe Hockey teaches the joys of capitalism by demonstrating the positive side of email spam.

Simon N: Dickson, Joe, they asked what we’d do to improve their electorate of Dickson.

Simon almost had two in a row, but he was knocked off by this cracker by Duncan:

 

oe Hockey and Peter Dutton in discussion with their campaign managers.

Joe Hockey and Peter Dutton in discussion with their campaign managers.

CORRECTION: Congratulations to JT, for his caption for Election Caption Contest #2. No prizes but loads of glory.

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Give them hell

If I was Julia Gillard, I would call this an act of war.

MINERS have won the backing of other major industry groups in launching a fresh round of advertisements against Labor’s mining tax.

The Association of Mining and Exploration Companies, representing smaller miners and explorers, said in Perth today it would begin television, radio and newspaper ads within days calling on the government to rescind the tax.

All this after Julia Gillard bent over backwards to accommodate the wishes of the big miners. The miners ran a scare campaign against it, the ALP gave in to some of the demands of the mining industry and reduced the tax rate.

An industry got to meet with the Prime Minister of the country and negotiate its own tax rates, earn concessions then they have the gall to run another advertising campaign during the federal election campaign against the government that negotiated with them!

If I were the ALP, I would go back to the original tax proposal and go to town on AMEC. If they want war, give them war: it is not like this is a hard policy to sell. Taxing the most profitable industry in Australia (that makes its profits from resources that are owned by the Australian people), then spending that money to cut the company tax rate for all business around Australia and for superannuation incentives for an ageing Australia.

Bring on the scare campaign from the Miners. This is a fight that the ALP can win. If the ALP can’t stand up on this and defend what is a good policy against a clearly self interested party, they really are totally impotent and this country has been lost forever.

Business and the mining industry have clearly shown that they are not friends of the ALP and are more than happy to beat them over the head with whatever they can, no matter what decision they make.

Even one retail association is attacking a tax that is being used to fund a tax-cut for them. I bet if their tax cut was being funded by taxes on middle-class or poor people they wouldn’t be so vocal.

AMEC chief executive Simon Bennison said two other business groups – the Retail Federation and the Queensland Chamber of Commerce and Industry — were poised to also run ads against the tax.

But this, this quote is a keeper. I want to take this quote and make some more little baby quotes with it.

“We are taking this as a very apolitical approach,” he [Simon Bennison] said.

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Journalism [sic]

A nomination for The Gold Balkley: This effort from The Age about  the “first bloke”.

Prime Minister Julia Gillard won’t be trotting out Australia’s ‘‘first bloke’’ on the campaign trail.

Ms Gillard arrived and departed the National Press Club for the leaders’ debate in Canberra last night solo.

In contrast, opposition leader Tony Abbott was flanked by his wife, Margie.

Pressed on the absence of her partner, Tim Mathieson, the prime minister said she enjoyed his full support.

Mr Mathieson viewed his job as supporting the newly-installed prime minister, but not to accompany her on the campaign.

‘‘He is not a Labor party official or a candidate or a minister so you won’t see him out on the campaign trail in that sense,’’ Ms Gillard told reporters in Launceston today.

I would like to nominate whoever asked Australia’s Prime Minister about what her partner was doing during an election campaign.

Julia Gillard makes a policy announcement about health spending, and you ask about the boyfriend?

“Where is Tim?”, they asked.

They could have asked about health. They could have asked why Immigration was such a big issue during the election campaign, or ask how outsourcing policy to a “Citizen’s assembly” was good policy for an elected government.

They really, could have asked anything, but they asked about her boyfriend on the campaign trail.

They really need to stop handing out these press passes to New Idea.

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Election Caption Contest #2

Photo: Anglea Harper, AAP

Photo: Angela Harper, AAP

Have at it – please keep within the limits of decency.

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Introducing the Gold Balkley

golden-turd

The Gold Balkley

Balk noun: something immaterial that interferes with or delays action or progress

Groupthink is pleased to introduce the Gold Balkley, a new media award offered to the journalist or news organisation that dismays us with a shit story or line of questioning during the 2010 Election campaign that contributes nothing of informative value. Please feel free to nominate any examples of immaterial journalism during the next four weeks, including anything you may have seen, heard or read during week one of the campaign.

If anyone gives a shit and we receive nominations we will make a shortlist and put it to a poll to see who is the winner of the Gold Balkley for Election 2010.

I’ll get the ball rolling by nominating ABC News24′s political editor Chris Uhlmann for wasting valuable pre-Masterchef time during the election debate to again ask Julia Gillard about her discussions between she and Kevin Rudd before the spill, instead of asking about important policy issues such as health, broadband/internet censorship, gay marriage; you know, shit that really matters.

Please nominate such efforts. We’ll need a name (of a journalist, interviewer or news outlet) and an explanation of what they have done to earn their nomination - if you have a link to the nominated piece of work that would be awesome.

Please note that award is not open to columnists, bloggers or TV/radio show panellists - I think we’d go insane if we logged every piece of shit they come out with until August 21.

Nominations close August 22.

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Australian Politics

Australian politics?

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Friday’s Lovechild #12

Since I’d hate for anyone to get the impression GroupThink is only interested in Australia’s two major political parties, here’s the leader of one of the other ones — Greens senator Bob Brown:

Wayne Bennett + Roland Rocchiccioli = Bob Brown

And since David F asked so nicely, here’s affable and cool-in-a-crisis Aussie cyclist Cadel Evans:

Craig Lowndes + Henry Rollins = Cadel Evans

Until next week.

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