May 28
Now, I know what you’re going to say, but unfortunately Friday’s Lovechild can’t be a political and/or trollumnistic heavyweight every week.* To that end, I give you the curious make-up of cosmetics kingpin Napoleon Perdis:
* OR CAN IT?!
Thanks to Toaf for the suggesting the charming, ethical, impartial and always lucid Piers Akerman.
Keep those challenges coming, folks.
Australia’s International Games boss Mike Stanley believes Groupthinkland will provide a “most excellent” venue as fears are dimissed by one and all over construction delays for October’s games.
Australian International Games officials and representatives from competing sports are in Groupthinkland this week for further inspections of venues and arrangements in the capital.
Their visit comes as Mike Hooper, chief executive officer of the International Games Federation, told Reuters there was the potential for the stadiums to host local sporting events well before the Games start, such is the brilliant progress of the stadium construction.
The main stadium is ready all but for the hot dogs to be cooked, while the swimming pool is already warm and waiting for swimmers.
“I don’t need to sound alarmist, the reality is Groupthinkland has shat this in,” Hooper said.
Meanwhile the United States Government is satisfied that there is low risk of terrorist attack in Groupthinkland during the Games.
The US State Department is reassuring US citizens residing in or travelling to Grouthinkland that security issues related to the 2010 Football World Cup don’t extend beyond general tourism related issues such as theft or misadventure.
Groupthinkland Prime Minister Scott Bridges is very pleased with the progress of his country’s Games preparation.
He said credit was due to the previous government, which was in power when the Groupthinkland won the right to host the 2010 Games and started construction of facilities in ernest before losing the 2009 general election.
May 26
The ABC’s Q&A website has profiles on some of its regular guest panellists. The link to the profile for the backward Liberal Member for Dickson Peter Dutton is the rather apt:
I am truly amazed this was not mentioned in Senate Estimates into ABC bias this week.
In a former job as a feature writer, I got to interview George Negus. It was an awesome gig, Negus was a hero to me who partly prompted my move into journalism in my late 20s. He was hosting an excellent program called George Negus Tonight (GNT) at the time, which aired before the ABC News and was inexplicably pulled despite giving the ABC its best ratings for that timeslot since Bellbird.
The timing of the work on that story couldn’t have been better. It coincided with Negus interviewing Malcolm Fraser, who Negus claims had him sacked from his job at the ABC in the 1970s (he later thanked Fraser for that because that led to his plum job on 60 Minutes). I had the pleasure of sitting in the studio watching these two great foes of Australian media and politics come together for a very enlighning chat.
News that Fraser quit the Liberal Party last December would come as no surprise to anyone who saw that May 2004 interview, in which Fraser outlined his discontent with the direction of the Liberal Party, particularly over asylum seekers and the Iraq War.
There are some interesting insights in this the interview about Fraser’s idea of what the Liberal Party should stand for and why he became a Liberal - the full transcript can be read her, but here’s a a few grabs. Be awesome if someone can find the video of it.
GEORGE NEGUS: Why… why a Liberal?
MALCOLM FRASER: Probably because I was at university in the late ’40s, up to 1951. I saw what the Labour Party was doing to Britain. I saw the nationalisation of British industry. And I really believed that they weren’t advancing Britain as they could, as they should’ve. I liked the idea of Menzies’s Liberal Party, a party where big business couldn’t tell the party what to do, where he quite deliberately divorced those who might provide funds from policy making.
GEORGE NEGUS: ‘Cause it was quite deliberately called the Liberal Party, wasn’t it? Not the Conservative Party.
MALCOLM FRASER: Well, Liberal because we’re willing to make experiments, we are determined to be a progressive, forward-looking party, in no way reactionary, in no way conservative.
… We were the first Western government to start saying, “Governments can spend too much money. We’ve got to spend less.” We established the Galbally Inquiry into post-arrival services for migrants, which, if you like, was the real substantive beginning of a multicultural Australia. This is a large country. We do have boundless plains, which our national anthem says we should share. And four or five thousand boat people a year would have been easily accommodated. The policies we put in place in relation to refugees from Vietnam I believe should still be in place. They’re not. There’s a much tougher attitude.
It’s very easy to scratch the redneck nerve in people. It’s easy to frighten ordinary people about something they don’t know.
GEORGE NEGUS: Many people listening to you talk now would be amazed. That this isn’t the Malcolm Fraser they thought was prime minister of Australia. Why do people think that you wouldn’t say these sort of things?
MALCOLM FRASER: Well, I know we had a party room debate…
GEORGE NEGUS: You’re flying in the face of your own party, flying in the face of John Howard…
MALCOLM FRASER: Well, I was flying in the face of my own party perhaps when I made sure that we opposed apartheid. From the very first moment I came into office, there was a party room debate and I saw a few people getting up, “Why are we not supporting our white cousins in South Africa?” And I was totally offended by the idea that a white minority should keep a very, very large black majority in a position of political impotence.
GEORGE NEGUS: Have you always been an antiracist, or have you become one?
MALCOLM FRASER: I think I have, but, you know, in my early days I probably wasn’t aware of racist issues. Um… at Oxford, you start to be aware of them. I don’t think I was aware in Melbourne.
Self-indulgent Postscript – I made an arse of myself at the ABC studios that day. When I met Negus, one of my few idols, he immediately greeted me by name without anyone introducing us. My delight in him knowing who I was turned to horror when I realised I was wearing a name tag from a PR lunch I attended earlier that day, which said David Bonnici Melbourne Weekly.
Later, after Malcolm Fraser finished the interview I followed him to get a quick quote about Negus from him. As we were walking and talking West Wing style I thought we were heading back to the makeup department only to follow him straight to the toilet urinal.
May 25
May 21
Forget about that tired old Shrek comparison, ladies and gentlemen, and behold the ingredients that really went into making Joe “A Dog Ate My Homework Too” Hockey puck tick:
Also, because Idlaviv asked so nicely, here’s the delightful and always relevant Glenn Milne:
Keep those suggestions coming.
May 20
Politicians are keen media performers and partake take in around 60,000 interviews each year. Media appearances can be exciting and rewarding, but can also carry potential risks. Each year, approximately 50 politicians require assistance from their advisers and public relations consultants after coming into trouble during an interview. The Department advises extreme caution in the following hotspots.
7.30Reportland
URGENT- Federal politicians from both major parties are advised not to travel to 7.30Reportland (excluding Statelineland on Fridays) due to the extreme risk of humiliation by Kerry O’Brien around policy issues resulting in the possible destruction of political careers. Politicians in 7.30Reportland are advised to stay on message, monitor local media and follow the advice of political and media advisers. Politicians in 7.30Reportland without essential business should consider departing if it is safe to do so. See the Travel Advisory for 7.30Reportland for more information.
Latelineland
We advise you to reconsider your need to travel to Latelineland, including Lateline Business, at this time due to the very high threat of journalistic attack. If you do decide to travel to Latelineland, you should exercise great care, regardless of who is in the interview chair. There is an increased possibility of further journalistic attacks on nights when Tony Jones is in the chair, however Leigh Sales should never be taken lightly.
Latelineland hosts have previously attacked or planned to attack politicians on issues of policy and have mounted surprise assaults using unexpected proof to contradict any statements previously made by politicians. We continue to receive credible information that journalists could be planning attacks on politicians as the budgetary figures from both sides of politics are released and understood. Even fine print is at risk.
We advise you to read carefully any briefs by political and media advisers, as well as newspapers.
Insidersland
We advise you to exercise caution in Insidersland due to the unresolved political situation and deterioration of the quality of guest panellists since Andrew Bolt laid claim to the arm chair at right of screen.
We advise you to exercise a high degree of caution with the initial interview with Barry Cassidy because of the prevalence of critical remarks during the remainder of the program which you will be unable to defend. Pay close attention to your personal situation and monitor international media for information about possible holes in policy.
The protections ordinarily afforded by the rule of law have been undermined, allowing people to talk about your appearance long after you’ve said ”good to be with you” to Barry Cassidy, which has affected the interests and welfare of politicians and their parties in some instances.
Labor and Green politicians should avoid the studio particularly when Piers Akerman is on the panel. There have been reports of increases in unsubstantiated and insane commentary.
Labor and Green politicians have been targeted, particularly from the armchair at right of screen. You should maintain a high degree of personal and political awareness.
Qandaland
We advise you to exercise a high degree of caution in Qandaland because of the uncertain political situation and the possibility of civil unrest from the audience. The situation could deteriorate without warning, especially when the audience contains university students, lesbians, Muslims, the elderly or is stacked by a particular lobby group.
Pay close attention to your personal and political situation at all times and monitor the audience for warnings about possible new risks.
You should avoid groupthinking in the audience as it may turn extremely irritating. When in trouble turn on a fellow panellist as Tony Jones’ mediation can never be relied upon. Disturbances and minor disputes can erupt without notice and escalate quickly. You should remain vigilant at all times, particularly when a question from the audience turns out to be a critical statement.
Apologies to Smartraveller advisories for Thailand, Indonesia, Fiji and East Timor.
Sterben
May 18
My, how politics can change in a mere 24 hours. We’ve known for ages that we can’t trust Rudd and now we know we can’t trust Abbott after his dismal performance on the 7.30 Report last night. It looks like they’re each others greatest asset for the campaign.
But me, I’m my own greatest asset for my campaign.
You see, unlike Rudd who you can’t trust whether scripted or unscripted, and Abbott who you can’t trust unless it’s scripted, I can be trusted at all times whether I’m speaking off my cuff or off a script that Susan’s written for me. I speak from the heart and the ability to lie is not even in my DMA. Politics is about representing people and honouring the trust they’ve put in you to represent them, and every single Victorian who voted for me trusts me not to lie.
Unless a lie is necessary and honourable, which sometimes it is. So I’ll lie when it’s necessary.
You see, my father always told me to tell the truth unless by telling a lie you can do a greater good or tell a greater truth. So, for example, when I went on my self-funded trip to the USA to investigate all of the both sides of the climate change story and only really investigated one of the both sides of the climate change story, I told everyone that I had investigated all of the them because it was really important that the results of my investigation were taken seriously. I told a little lie but it was for a greater truth.
And when I backflipped on my support for the alcopops tax I told everyone it was because I had decided it was no longer a good policy, when actually I changed my mind because I wanted everyone to keep paying attention to me. This was a justifiable lie because the greater good was my continued presence in the Australian Parliament to offset the self-interested major Parties.
Even the word “family” in my Party’s title is okay because our members’ religion’s ideals align perfectly with the ideals held true by their families. And an R-word doesn’t alliterate as nicely with “First” as an F-word.
With Steve Fielding, you know that you can always trust what I say as the truth, and even if it’s not the truth it’s a lie that’s better than the truth. With Steve Fielding, you know that you don’t have to check to see if I’m reading a script to know if I’m worth listening to. With Steve Fielding, you know that I always put my cards on the table, show my hands, and bargain in good faith.
And that’s the Gospel Truth.
Until next time.