Yesterday, Tony Abbott crossed a line where he’s now offering policies that actually sound like the premises of dystopian sci-fi movies.
This has the makings of a great elevator pitch to James Cameron:
TONY Abbott has proposed banning the dole for people under 30 in a bid to entice the unemployed to head west and fill massive skill shortages in the booming resources sector.
Imagine, Jim: Australia, 2012 – everyone under 30 has been enslaved and sent to underground mines in the desert. Only one man (Colin Farrell) has the courage to take on the system and live.
Next, I’d like to hear Tony proposing that we convert old people into a sinister but nutritious food product for an overcrowded world.
Anyways, which chilling vision of the future do you think the coalition should the Coalition should incorporate in their next policy announcement?
#1 by Dam Buster of Preston on 22 April 2010 - 10:12 am
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The coalition will never do a Soylent Green as it will decimate their voting base
#2 by Scott Bridges on 22 April 2010 - 10:15 am
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I like @FakeFielding’s suggestion:
#3 by Spock... on 22 April 2010 - 10:15 am
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Tony should announce funding for research into AI robot police. If movies have taught me anything, it’s that giving robots smarts and guns is always a good idea.
#4 by Scott Bridges on 22 April 2010 - 10:16 am
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You fool, Spock…, we don’t give the robots smarts, they develop the smarts themselves.
#5 by Ross Sharp on 22 April 2010 - 10:19 am
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Abolish the aged pension. Put the elderly in Aged Internment Camps where they can make numberplates or fridge magnets. As most of the elderly won’t have their own teeth, you can cut right back on food costs by serving them a saucer of gruel and weak tea once a day. They can sleep in bunk beds. If they refuse to work, you refuse them any medical attention they may need. When they die, you can use the bodies to plug up any bothersome volcanoes that might be popping off.
Those bludging old cunts have had it too easy for far too long.
#6 by Spock... on 22 April 2010 - 10:23 am
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Rookie mistake.
#7 by cosmicjester on 22 April 2010 - 10:41 am
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Ban Halal Vegemite, and put boat people into national service
#8 by Idlaviv on 22 April 2010 - 10:49 am
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Ozploitation film industry reignited with the remake of ‘If’ (1968). Set around Macquarie Radio Network Academy, the character Bolt (played by Kelsey Grammer) protests his lack of recognition on MTR’s ‘Presenters’ page.
#9 by Dam Buster of Preston on 22 April 2010 - 10:58 am
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I suspect they will make a law stating the PM has to finish an ultra triathlon before being able to be sworn into office. Budgie smugglers will be mandatory in the lower house. lycra in the senate.
He will also pass a law called the “Australian Northern Unfriendly Ship Repellent And Pausing Enterprise” which means any boat people will be subject to ANUSRAPE.