The World of Wallace …

A Christian lobby group says surrogacy should be a last resort for infertile married couples, not a solution for gay and lesbian couples who want children.

The Australian Christian Lobby has called on Queensland MPs to amend or reject a new bill to decriminalise altruistic surrogacy, where a woman carries another couple’s child for no payment …

… The ACL says children are not pets and should not simply be given to anyone who wants one …

… ACL managing director Jim Wallace says the surrogacy bill should have been directed at permitting surrogacy as a last resort for infertile married couples …

… “This is experimenting with children’s lives and at this stage they have no way of really knowing just how devastating the effects on the children will be, or the extent of identity confusion that will result …

… “The state should not be accommodating the desires of single men, single women, two men or two women to do what is not possible in nature – that is to have babies,” he said …

The World of Wallace and others of its ilk revolve around an axis of purest fantasy, inhabited by that peculiar breed of bug-eyed imbecile for whom adherence to an “ideology” or “belief system” trumps observation, experience and the (to them at least) novel concept of living in an actual reality at every turn.

For in The World of Wallace, a comfortable abode jauntily decorated with crocheted cushions and dainty lace doilies on every dinner table, where Walton’s Mountain and a Little House on the Prairie are never too far away, reality is a hemorrhoid, a discomfiting reminder that reality is merely an inconvenient truth that, whilst it must occasionally be paid fleeting lip service, must not be allowed to displace the vastly preferable truthiness of mere assumption. 

In The World of Wallace, a world that, these days, appears to be growing in girth faster than Kirstie Alley can gather chins, it is inconceivable, fantastic and impossible to those who dwell there that two gay men or two gay women, or a single man or single woman would be remotely capable of taking responsibility for raising, nurturing and loving a child.

That, according to dear hearts and gentle people from The World of Wallace is the sole province of those who, bless their little cotton bobbysoxes and freshly pressed grey flannel suits, have, under the approving eye of an otherwise vengeful Lord, entered into Holy Matrimony to do that for which Holy Matrimony was primarily intended to achieve …

One for Dad, one for Mum, and one for the country.

To love them and hug them and squeeze them and love them and hug them and squeeze them forever and ever and ever and ever until the very end of time …

October 2, 2009 – A New South Wales couple who starved their seven-year-old daughter to death have been sentenced to life and at least 12 years in jail respectively … In sentencing the child’s mother to life in prison, the judge said the woman was Ebony’s main carer but was “cold, callous, cruel and heartless toward her own little girl” … He said the child’s father could not care less about her distress and gave him a minimum of 12 years.

September 28, 2009  – A couple who relied on homeopathic treatments for their eczema-stricken baby daughter have been jailed over her death … Their daughter Gloria was so sick with eczema that she constantly cried in pain, her skin broken and oozing fluid, the court heard … Both parents were well educated and the judge found they should have known better.

September 24, 2009 – Three people including a mother and her daughter will face court in the central western New South Wales today, accused of dealing drugs … Police arrested a 41-year-old woman in Orange and charged her with recruiting a child to engage in criminal activity … The child is her 17-year-old daughter, arrested a short time later … Police allege that the woman recruited the girl to sell cannabis when she was 16.

February 10, 2010 – A US woman has been convicted of second-degree murder over the 2006 death of her four-year-old daughter from an overdose of powerful psychotropic drugs.

February 10, 2010 – A US soldier who served in Iraq for 15 months has been charged with second-degree assault for ”waterboarding” his four-year-old daughter because she could not recite her alphabet. Joshua Tabor, 27, and his girlfriend pushed the girl’s head, face up, under a running tap in the kitchen sink, said Todd Stancil, the police chief in Yelm, Washington state.

February 6, 2010 – An autopsy has found that a 16-year-old Turkish girl was buried alive in her family’s garden. She was reportedly killed by her family for having male friends.

February 10, 2010 – A woman gassed her children to death in the family car so her ex-husband couldn’t have custody of them on Christmas day, a court has been told … The Queensland Supreme Court today was told the mother, who cannot be identified, started planning their deaths in October 2002 after being issued with a Family Court order stating they would spend Christmas day with their dad.

And so it goes.

P’shaw, say those from The World of Wallace to that which must surely be the rarest of anomalies on this strangest of worlds, “Why, these things distract us from what we know, and what we know, and what we know for certain is that the faggots want to fuck boy children and the dykes want to fuck girl children, and the single men and the single women are only wanting to upgrade from owning a pet duck to owning a pet baby to improve their social status, and we cannot allow them to be like us for where would we be then?”

Yet, in this world, and in that world, and most definitely in The World of Wallace, right now, at the end of that street and this street, right this very minute somewhere close to you, a father rapes his six year old daughter in the dark dead of night and, as he finishes his business, he cups her tear-stained face in a hand that reeks of beer and tobacco and presses his razor stubble against the tender flesh of her ear and whispers, “If you tell anyone, if you tell your mother, I will kill the both of you, do you understand, Sarah?”

And right now, right this very minute, a grandchild looks fearfully at her grandfather who implores her to sit on his lap again and play and she doesn’t want to, dear Lord no she doesn’t want to, because she remembers what he did with his fingers the last time and it hurt, it hurt and she felt bad and she doesn’t want him to do it again.

And right now, and somewhere much closer to you than you might imagine, a brother promises his baby sister a brand new toy if only she’ll “touch it, come on, touch it, it’s alright, no one will know”.

But no, not in The World of Wallace because, clap hands and Hallelujah, here comes Charlie, devout and devoted husband to Martha and look, their adorable little girl …

“Hello Sarah, how are you?”

“Answer the man, Sarah.”

“I’m fine, thank you.”

“She’s so well behaved, Charlie, so quiet and polite.”

“Yes, she is. She’s no trouble at all. She knows to do as she’s told.”

And her lip trembles, and she blinks back a tear, and she wants to scream and scream and scream, again and again and again and run away, far away, far away from this world and that world and The World of Wallace and she wonders for how much longer she is expected to dwell in this Hell and she prays in silence, prays as she has been taught to in Sunday school, she prays that her God please come and take her away, take her now before the deep, damp dread of night casts its nightmare of kaleidoscopic shadows across her bed once more.