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Avid readers of my debates will immediately recall like a thousand startled gazzals my “Proof they are amongst us” post where I discovered crop circles in Traralgon and I had won the Skeptical Societies $100,000 prize from Phillip Adams for proof of paranormal activity. Well, I have some disappointing news. It looks like Phillip Adams may be broke because he won’t give me a direct answer. I emailed him (I won’t display the entire contents of his email for privacy reasons) and got this response:
Archive for February, 2010
Facebook has been used to say nasty things. There are calls to ban its use by certain people and in certain situations.
Fair enough. Let’s follow this through to its obvious conclusion.
 Swearing |
To be banned:
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I have seen the future according to federal opposition leader Tony Abbott and, as far as I’m concerned, it’s a load of wussy, namby-pamby, half-arsed faggy bollocks.
I for one, and I’m sure I speak for a multitude, if not the vast and overwhelming majority of honest, decent, hard-working, God-fearing Aussie blokes and sheilas are fed up to the fucking back teeth with these bludging toe-rags on welfare. Why the fuck should my taxes be used to subsidise the lifestyle choices of doddery old cunts and cripples and retards and latte-sipping lazy leftist shitheads from the inner-city who are more motivated by the thought of going out and getting another fucking tattoo or piercing than they are by getting a fucking job?
Fuck the lot of them, that’s what I reckon, and if Bud Abbott wants my vote, this is what he really ought to be proposing …
To keep in the spotlight of the Public one (me) has to punch through the various form of technology that surround us. Edison did it with the wireless then Florey did it with the Telephone, then Philo Taylor Farnsworth (I googled that) did it with the tele and Ron Jeremy did it with the Beta Max and Which leads us to the Internet That Al Gore invented (i googled that too) and Kevin Rudd did it with the dial up Internet (which I think is great because I can click on a page then go to the fridge, get a 44oml Woodstock bourbon can and drink it and come back and my email is almost loaded). Now I have invented something… wait until I finish my fucken introduction.
Now there’s only one bloke who is more popular than me, has more fans than me, has been arrested and sent to jail more than me, has more de factos than me, drinks more piss than me, has been admitted to hospital for drinking more piss than me, has more Topical Debates than me,has written more novels than me, has recieved more death threats by Mick Gatto than me, has been abused with more obsenities than me and has appeared on Dancing With The Stars more than me. And that bloke is Hinchy or Derryn or The Human Headline.
Before Hinchy gives his Topical Debates on the wireless he types them up on his IBM and then reads them out on the air. It’s a little trick he uses to make people think he is doing it off his cuffs. Which brings me too my invention:…. (Drum Roll).
I would like to announce this press release via this Website that I will be making what is called a TrevorCast. When ever I feel the world needs to hear my editorials I will type them up and read them out to what is called an MP player. I don’t know How to send that out to the Internet but I can mail it for a small fee.
Stay tuned to that dial.
Trevor
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not one to whinge and bitch like a gallute about local councils. However, the latest stoush between the Stonnington City Council and the Victoria State Government is like watching a fight between David Reece Jones and Dermott Brereton; they are both dirty underhanded cunts who will stick their finger up your arse like Tony Libratore.
Another internet ledgend on the Twitter account pointed out that (let me put this into a parenthesis [Stonnington are whinging about the govt extending the hours of clear ways in High Street Armasdale. The government erected new signs and Stonnington with their most excellent Liberal Mayor covered the signs up and told people to park there and ignore the govt. But when the govt Sherriffs came down to issue the parking fines the Stonnington council fucked off and left all the women buying antiques in there 4WD BMW's and Porches and Prados to cop a fine and or a tow from the govt] this is now in parenthesis).
So the irony and hypocritcal angle of this debate is Stonnington. These cunts issue a huge number of parking fines and they are trying to act like they are fighting for the underdog. But when the fight came the hid back into the council chambers planning junkets.
Why is this issue pertenant because the most excellent Young Liberal Mayor is going to miss out on $150,000 per month of fines that he could have used for the community because the clearway times have been changed.
Now, I’ve never been to Armadale. And I don’t plan to go there. But all I can say is suck shit to all concerned.
Trevor
(A note to the absentee landlords. Since you no longer visit this public toilet can you at least see it in your leftists hearts to give me the opportunity to upload pictures in my posts. Don’t you know who I am?)
One of the rewards of being a top Topical Debator is that I get to bring to the wider public the issues and opinions that matter to me. I am a highly regarded by different institutions as a “one manned think tank” and the “average Joe of the bloggosphere”. These are platitudes I don’t take lightly and when I was approached by the leftists (I’m rightwinged) to bring my assumptions to the readers of Groupthink I initially thought they’ed have some.
It seems the owners of this soap box are infact absentee landlords and apart from Ross Noble and the two Davids I am the only one who has something to say that matters. Now, at My Blog I have an average readership of 7 debators a day (apart from the ones looking for wank sounds) but when I looked on the blog stats page for Groupthink it said there were 5 views a day?!
Now I am a bloke how doesn’t need his ego stoked, I have plenty of birds on the Twitter who can stroke me. But I am thinking of taking over this blog and dominate it with my simple views if I am promised payment of some sort. Recently I bought my defacto some well deserved presents so she wouldn’t stray anymore. So cough up leftists (who want everything for free).
Trevor
Don’t get me wrong (because Im never wrong) but the two recent terrible tragedies involving our youngsters have been shocking and heart wrenching for their families and towns/communities. But you know what gets on my goat about the whole thing (apart from the evil little cunts who done it) its the fucken Facebook dedication pages.
Now In my time if you had died your mates and you step mums would put the hat around and put some death notices in the local rag. Now with the generation of the internet (Facebook) people can leave dedication notices on purpose specific Facebook (forums) outlining their grief and emotions (with grief appropriate emoticons too). While there is nothing wrong with this what gets on my quince is that people are surprised when these Facebook Dedication Pages are infiltrated by all sorts of nasty characters and hyperlinks (links that you click on to go to what is called a ‘webpage’).Like, what the fucken hell does you expect. You know like the real life, that the internet is filled with all sorts of nasty things and people who use the internet. Put something in the paper instead you know.
Plus I said to my ex defacto recently that if I died that I don’t want a Facebook dedication page. Just like I didn’t want her to dedicate love songs to me on the Fox FM.
A more important Topical Debate is Does You Think Steven Conways Internet Filter is going to stop these gallutes spamming Facebook Dedication Pages?
Youse be the Judges:
… Ah wuz whittlin’ myself a figurine of Lyndon LaRouche this mornin’ out of a nahce, firm, solid stool I’d passed earlier when a mahty fine chicken mosied on past the porch an’ mah pants went tight all of a sudden …
That’s enough of that nonsense, thank you.
Let’s talk about retards.
Seems a whole bunch of people have been getting a mite tetchy lately about who’s calling who a retard and whether or not calling a person or a bunch of people retards can be considered acceptable in this day and age, this being a day and an age when taking offence at a mere word is guaranteed to generate more in the way of outrage than would an illustrated guide to buggering a chicken sideways with a vibrating fence post.
So, before we denude the English language altogether of those words that make some folks squirt in horror because someone might feel poorly if they’re used, we need to provide some clarity here on precisely how, why and when the word retard makes perfect sense in its application and when it does not.
To describe someone with a genuine intellectual disability, a diagnosed condition or affliction as a retard is not a clever thing to do. And those who are inclined to do so reveal more about their own intellectual corruption and emotional infantilism and inflict more damage to their own reputation (if they’ve got one) and social standing (if they’ve got that) than they would do to the subject or subjects of their slur.
And I feel that you would be perfectly within your rights, if you were the parent or guardian of someone so afflicted, to go forth and seek out the offending party and present them with a thumping good slap upside the head with a meat mallet by way of redress, though far be it for me to encourage random acts of brutal, senseless and satisfying violence, no matter how well justified you might feel they may be.
Yet let us now turn our attention to the appropriate usage of the word retard, and to those individuals to whom it may be most aptly and satisfactorily applied.
When I was a boy of about fourteen I remember asking my Dad if I could go to see Johnny Young’s Young Talent Time show down at the Westfield. He stopped to think for a moment, shook his head, and then sat me down at the kitchen table where all important talks took place. After Dad made us both a cup of cordial (red for me, green for him) we had a man-to-man.
“Son,” he said, “popular music is not quite what it seems to your young and innocent eyes.”
“How’s that, Dad?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“Well, rock and roll is …” he trailed off and paused to gather his thoughts. “Rock and roll is the devil in the form of sound.”
Compare and Contrast:
1. Gob from the hit DVD show ‘Arrested Development’ decides to become the centre of attention and breaks into jail and gets locked up then let out. Gains notoriety by featuring on the cover of coveted magic magazine “Poof”. Everyone laughs.
2. ‘Captain Bathune’ formerly of the decapitated ‘Ady Gill’ decides to become the centre of attention and breaks into the Japo whaling ship to perform a ‘Citizens Arrest’ on the Caption of the ship. Gains no notoriety, no front page, is a prisoner for the at least the next 2 months with no soap-on-a-rope. Everyone laughs.
Being a topical debator who can weigh up the twos and fros of port and starboard in both sides in a debate I would like to ask some pertinant questions in the ionosphere of the Internet. One being who gives a flying fuck about the Ady Gill dickhead? Two being did he watch the famed Police Academy movie “Citizens on Patrol” too many times? And more importantly, where are the David Hicks fan club and Get Up when he needs them?
Now, this whaling business is all over the news channels. And the Japs are being harpooned in our media for killing a fish. So? When Wayne and I did a tour of Werribee zoo when we were kids we hadn’t been fed by Wayne’s step mum for a few days. We saw an antelope walking around with a wound in it’s side and a bit of blood. Wayne and I were following that antelope around with our tongues hanging out waiting for it to drop dead so we could bring something home to eat. Did Africa try to put a citizens arrest on us? But I digress sort of.
Now I’m glad this hilarious tale of Captain Buffoon hasn’t been followed too much in the media and the David Hicks fan club haven’t rallied demanding Buffoon’s release. I hope those Japs are serving threee square meals of rare endangered whale for breakfast, lunch and tea. Maybe he will be released looking as fat as David Hicks. Further in the excellent Herald Sun article it’s investigative journalist also notes that Captain Buffoon handed the Japo Captain a bill for a cool 3 million. Is this where I insert the imaginary typewriter joke? LOL.
To sum up this debate I will like to end with a quote from the article in question:
As the internets would say; Sea Shepherd FAIL, Captain Buffoon FAIL, Ady Gill FAIL, Debt Collection FAIL and Whaling WIN!
This is Trevor signing off.
Trevor.
