Archive for December, 2009

Shameless self-promotion

If you’re wondering why Groupthink has been rather quiet over the past few weeks it’s mostly because I’m just about to head off on a year-long travel adventure and Ant Rogenous is preparing to welcome a new member to his family. Not sure if Ant plans to blog his big event but I’m certainly blogging mine. Check out Crikey’s newest travel blog Back In A Bit, featuring, well, me.

With the silly season just about here, all of us at Groupthink wish you a merry Christmas and happy holidays. We’ll be back at full force early in the new year once Ant and I have settled into our new situations and everyone’s sobered up a bit.

Take care and be safe.

/shamelessself-promotion

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Kindleing

Many years ago, when I was sharing a flat, my flatmate got himself a gig as part of a crew to sail a yacht from Sydney to the Philippines.

Before he set out, he asked if he could borrow one of my books to take with him and could I recommend something. I gave him Paul Theroux’s “Happy Isles of Oceania”, and off he went.

And, a few weeks later, back he came. As did my book. A little the worse for wear, dog-eared cover, broken spine, pages yellowed from exposure to the elements, smelling of the sea, of salt, you wouldn’t pay fifty cents for this book from a market stall.

I didn’t mind. I didn’t mind at all. It was still in one piece. It could still be read. It was still a “book”. And back on the shelf it went. With all the other books.

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Back to the future

A common complaint of the Australian parliamentary game is that it’s merely a case of Tweedledum versus Tweedledee, a contest between two parties who largely resemble one another in both policies and methods. Certainly, this has been the case for federal politics in recent years – Rudd was at pains to present himself as a ‘fiscal conservative’, and emphasise his religiousity and populism (see his comments re: the Bill Henderson sage, for instance). On the other side, Brendan Nelson and Malcom Turnbull were ‘moderates’, who both were supposed to represent ‘generational change’. To this game, the Coalition has now said basta, electing Tony Abbott as leader. He in turn has elected a shadow cabinet comprised of rightist demagogues and old discards from the Howard era. The dust is yet to settle on this one, but I think there are a few things to be considered.

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Honey, I’m home!!

Traditional Family Values is bought to you this year by your favourite Traditional Family Values Political Representative, of which we currently appear to have a thumping surfeit.

Traditional Family Values will feature Robert Young and Fred MacMurray, with our very special guest star Jimmy Stewart as Traditional Family Grandpa.

The soundtrack to Traditional Family Values swings gently to the lite’n’easy sing-along stylings of Mitch Miller and his Orchestra, and is sponsored by Ballantine Beer, Pepsodent and snow-fresh filtered Kool, isn’t it time you switched to snow-fresh filtered Kool today?

Traditional Family Values will be presented to you tonight in glorious 16 inch traditional monochrome, guaranteed to highlight the whitest of whites and keep the blacks in the shadows where they traditionally belong.

Traditional Family Values will take place in a Traditional Family Home which has a Traditional Family Backyard and a Traditional Family Fence.

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Does you like pointless graphs to illustrate your point?

At the tafe Internets course I learnt that on the Google there is a function called Google trends. You type things in to see their relevance to other things and you can separate them by what is called a comma.

Behold the graphs I made below:

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14 Comments

Never mind Hockey, I have a Fielding feeling

This first appeared in Monday’s Crikey email and is on the Crikey website

__________

Let me tell you, weeks like last week don’t come along every week. Calling it extraordinary would be the understatement of the century, as even seasoned political observers would attest. For starters, this nation’s government considered a number of highly important issues and my speeches in the Senate were some of the most passionate, articulate and emotional presentations the Parliament has ever seen. They had everything: shouty voice, soft voice, pauses for effect, graphs as props, and moral appeals to right and wrong. I’m exhausted just thinking about them. One of my speeches was so powerful that I went to do it again for Susan and the staff back in the office but Susan yelled at me to get down off the desk.

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Her Genocidal Majesty

I reproduce this Citizens Electoral Council press release that lobbed into my inbox this arvo (I subscribe to a lot of shit, okay?) without comment.

Citizens Electoral Council of Australia
Media Release 1st of December 2009

Queen flexes muscle to demand Copenhagen genocide treaty

Just as the climate change hoax is about to derail completely, Her Britannic Majesty herself, Queen Elizabeth II, whose family spawned the modern green genocide movement*, has pulled rank on the Commonwealth group of nations—her repackaged “Empah”—to demand they deliver a treaty at Copenhagen.

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12 Comments

Stick To Your ABC

Anyone who follows the media would know that it’s a great time to be working at the ABC. While the wolf is at the door for many commercial and community outfits, our government funded ABC can sleep relatively soundly at night. Nothing highlights this better than Managing Director Mark Scott, who proudly tells the rest of the media they need to focus on quality journalism, stay ahead of the pack and other heart warming motherhood statements.

This is all very well coming from the public broadcaster with $800 mil coming in from Treasury. I have no problem with the ABC fulfilling its charter. What bugs me is the ABC running around doing things (with public money) where there is no imperative to do it.

I hate to say it but as Kim Williams repeated in Crikey;  “… in the digital age we need to be careful to ensure that public broadcasters like the ABC don’t merely replicate what the private sector is now doing or inadvertently crowd out market-driven creativity and innovation.”

And what is this replication that shits me? The inane, pop-culture of the malnourished, sub-70 IQ celebrity kind. Essentially why is the ABC wasting time and resources on infantile dross like this: http://blogs.abc.net.au/articulate/.

Or (and this is far worse) this: http://blogs.abc.net.au/theshallowend/.

I read the ABC Charter all the time and still can’t locate the section where it says it is required to fill the gap not taken up by commercial interests to inform and report every hot celebs current crisis or full colour documentation of the current fashion disaster unfolding at some drug-infested awards night or event opening.

Surely the funds being sent in the direction of the Vacuous Celebrities Awareness Department of the ABC would be far better administered by employing a few more journalists or funding some of the core services that are the reason for the ABCs existence?

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King Joe Redux

[I once posted this at a certain other execrable blog. The time seemed right to revisit this theme.]

joe shrekey

Imagine you are a husky fellow of simple tastes and modest abilities. Imagine that, until now, you’ve been a long way back in the queue to the throne, but that suddenly the whole line of succession has been catastrophically blown up, leaving you as the heir apparent.

Where would you turn to find a precedent for your frightening situation? Could there perhaps be a work of cinematic art that might provide a way for you to understand your predicament?

Joe Hockey: The King Ralph of Australian politics.

7 Comments