A living room. Somewhere.
“THEY’RE TAKIN’ THE BLOODY SPORT AWAY!”
“What, dear?”
“They’re takin’ the BLOODY SPORT AWAY! The communists, they’re takin’ the bloody sport away and all the bloody money and they’re givin’ it to the blacks!”
“New Zealand, dear?”
“No! The blacks, the blacks, the bloody blacks in the desert, they’re givin’ the money to them! … ”
“Yes, dear.”
” … They already get all the bloody welfare … WHAT’RE THE KIDS GONNA DO NOW?!? If they take the bloody sport away? If they don’t put the bloody money into the bloody sport, what’re the kids gonna do? … Turn into a bunch of fuckin’ poofters, tha – ”
“Don’t swear, dear.”
“… A bunch of bloody poofters, that’s what they’ll grow up to be, they’ll probably all grow up and wanna marry each other and fart about trying to adopt a bunch of bloody orphans from bloody Africa or some bloody place moaning about their bloody rights …”
“Yes, dear.”
” … I’d put the whole bloody lot of them in the bloody army, that’s what I’d do. Put ‘em in the bloody army, they’d learn a bit of bloody discipline and a bloody trade, get ‘em out of the bloody pubs and off the bloody streets, that’s what I’d do … YOU’LL PLAY SPORT IN THE FUCKING ARMY, MY SON!!! MY FUCKING OA – ”
“Don’t swear, dear.”
” … Damn right, you will … you’ll play sport in the bloody army, they won’t deny you that … They’ll give the money to those bloody terrorists, they’ll give the money to those bastards, that’s what they’ll do, set ‘em up in a bloody house and they get all the bloody welfare and every bloody thing else, but bugger the poor bloody kid who wants to play a bit of bloody sport and go on to represent his bloody country, bugger him, we’ll give the money to the FUCKIN’ TERRORI – ”
“Don’t’ swear, dear.”
… refugees, my arse … You wonder what bloody country you’re livin’ in sometimes … The bloody Asians come in and take all our bloody jobs, the bloody Arabs wanna stab us all in our bloody beds, the bloody blackfellas want to take our bloody houses … You’ve got to ask yourself, WHAT’S NEXT, EH? … After taking all the bloody money from the bloody sport and giving it all to these bludging bastards, WHAT’S BLOODY NEXT, EH!? … ANZAC DAY!!!??? TRY FUCKING WITH FUCKING ANZAC FUC – ”
“Don’t swear, dear.”
” … I wouldn’t put it past them … It’s the bloody feminists have done it, they’ve turned all the bloody kids into a bunch of bloody pansies, they hate sport …“Gender Studies”? … You can take your fucking “Gender Stu – ”
“Don’t swear, dear.”
” … Load of bloody rubbish … That’s what they teach kids now, that tripe … Sport made this country, made this country what it is today and now they just bloody piss all over it and want to turn your bloody kids into a bunch of bloody pansies … A bunch of arty-farty types probably, bloody movie stars and theatre and bloody music and bloody books … Buggering around with bloody brushes and pots of bloody paint … Like that bloody photographer bloke, that bloody Henson bloke, the bloody pervert, a grown bloody man running around making a bloody living taking photos of kids in the bloody nuddy? … What type of life is that, eh? … EH??!”
“Yes, dear.”
” … BUNCH OF FUCKING PEDOPHILES THE WHOLE FUCKING LOT OF THEM THAT’S WHAT THEY FUCKING ARE AND THEY CAN ALL KISS MY FUCKING ARSE!!!! …”
“Please don’t swear, dear.”
“What would Don Bradman think, eh? What would Donald bloody Bradman think? He’d be rolling in his bloody grave, that’s what he’d be doing, rolling in his bloody grave.”
“Yes, dear.”
“It’s a bloody disgrace.”
#1 by Trevor McDonald on 19 November 2009 - 9:12 am
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Wherever this sunken loungeroom is I want to buy them a beer.
#2 by reb on 19 November 2009 - 11:27 am
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I have no doubt that that conversation is being replayed in lounge rooms across the country.
Especially in Queensland.
Why are people so unkind?
#3 by GhostWhoVotes on 19 November 2009 - 6:28 pm
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Congratulations Ross. A bloody good article this is. Well Done.
#4 by Mr Pastry on 19 November 2009 - 10:25 pm
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Screw Don Bradman and damn you for writing his name – when I lived in Melbourne my wife and I played a game called Bradman. Listening to the Radio in the morning the first to hear the name Donald Bradman would shout Bradman and score a point. Not a day went by without hearing his name, usually by 7:30AM. Not a great game but it alleviated the anger at the continual mind numbing reference to someone who toured England after the war and scored a lot against returning malnourished and traumatised soldiers, a legend indeed.
#5 by sarah on 21 November 2009 - 4:46 am
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Oh dear,
I cant read this site anymore.
Just the most condescending….
I dont think you have any idea what average Australians think. The Crawford report has barely caused a ripple, I haven’t seen any opposition its recommendations. I notice even Bolt agrees.
Is your view based entirely on stereotypes from Australian films. (Incedently, how would you feel about a report being commissioned into Australian Film funding, measuring performance entirely against success at the Academy Awards, then cut funding to any films which don’t have any chance of success)?
#6 by Mr Pastry on 21 November 2009 - 9:09 pm
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Crawford Report? I watched Bolt with my daughter and enjoyed this heartwarming CGI family movie, but there was at no time did the leading character agree to a “Crawford Report”.