Telstra is so much more than just a telephone company. Telstra, like Vegemite and Hillsong, is an Australian institution and part of the national psyche. For that reason I take Family First’s role in deciding the future of Telstra very seriously and I have put a lot of thought into how I will vote on its structural separation later this year.
And I’ve had a lot of time to think. On Monday my wife and adviser, Susan, had me rearrange the office files into reverse alphabetical order. It took all day. And then on Tuesday she changed her mind and asked me to put them in Greek alphabetical order while she and the other staff went to a long Melbourne Cup lunch down at the club. Because I had to answer the phone as well I couldn’t even leave the office for a sandwich, and the Milo tin was shut really tight and Susan didn’t answer her phone or respond to any texts asking how to open it so I couldn’t even have a hot drink. And then it occurred to me that Susan doesn’t let me use the microwave unsupervised anyway so I wouldn’t have been able to have a hot Milo even if I got the tin open. Heck!
Anyway, while I filed I considered the Telstra conundrum. I thought about matters of competition, the effect on mum-and-dad shareholders, and what the new logo might look like. I took into account the government’s views, the opposition’s views, Telstra’s views, and Susan’s views (one must always take into account Susan’s views), but no matter which way I looked at the matter, I kept returning to one point which has me baffled and concerned in equal measure.
If Telstra is split into two as proposed by the government, how will customers served by one half of the company make calls to phone customers served by the other half? And where will the split line be? Will it be vertically up and down, or horizontally across the country? Will it be a city/regional split? Imagine the impact on businesses, communities, churches and families. It’s difficult to overstate the hardship that will be faced by almost every Australian.
How will mobile phones deal with the split? Will you be served by one half of the new Telstra depending on where in the country you’re standing? Will you swap from one of the new companies to the other if you walk across the imaginary Telstra split line?
Thank God Internet delivery is completely independent of these little copper wires that are causing so much trouble. Nobody owns the air.
There are so many questions yet to be answered and so much grey in between the black and the white. But there’s still several weeks to go before the vote, and Family First will be sure to consider all of the both sides of the story right up until the moment of the decision, and I suspect that my engineering background will come in handy during the complicated technical debates that are sure to occur.
Until next time.

team@groupthink.com.au

#1 by Trevor on 5 November 2009 - 10:04 am
Quote
Being from a tech school back ground (until form 2) I can safely say I am more qualified to handle the technical side of this topical debate.
I will let you look after just under 2% of it as a reconciliation. because any man who wears a bong is okay in my book.
#2 by ellymc on 5 November 2009 - 10:06 am
Quote
I don’t believe this is legitimate. The spelling and grammar are far too good.
#3 by Scott Bridges on 5 November 2009 - 10:06 am
Quote
The copy has been sub-edited.
#4 by David on 5 November 2009 - 10:08 am
Quote
But, what will the logo look like?
#5 by @FakeFielding on 5 November 2009 - 10:11 am
Quote
The new logo will depend entirely on the eventual split. The logo will be the current one cut in half either vertically or horizontally. Or cut into little pieces.
#6 by Cicco on 5 November 2009 - 11:43 am
Quote
Hi Steve,
With the upgrade of broadband capabilities does Sue think that the split of telstra will see the death of pay tv as we know it? I’m thinking that we’ll see production companies having shows that can be downloaded anytime we want or sold on iTunes or something. So what does the wise sage and great root that your wife is think?
Love Cicco
(is alright)
#7 by @FakeFielding on 5 November 2009 - 11:46 am
Quote
What does Telstra have to do with pay TV? And what’s iTunes?
#8 by stace on 5 November 2009 - 11:53 am
Quote
What are you wearing, Steve, you little tease?
#9 by Northern Exposure on 5 November 2009 - 12:20 pm
Quote
Glad to see he’s giving this as much thought as figuring out how to open the milo. Both are hard to grasp (especially if the label is a bit loose, milo everywhere!), and whatever decision he makes will be hard to swallow for some people (I myself prefer hot milo too, impossible to do without the mircowave).
Great job Steve! Gold star effort, but ask Susan first, paper cuts can be dangerous.
#10 by Discontents on 5 November 2009 - 2:00 pm
Quote
Steve, just a couple of points:
1. Like Kraft and Hillsong, Telstra also makes a bucketload;
2. Have you considered a structural separation from Susan? Perhaps we could get Conroy to move that in the senate?
#11 by @FakeFielding on 5 November 2009 - 2:03 pm
Quote
I’ll ask Susan what she thinks about point two before I come to any firm conclusions, Discontents.
#12 by Mr Pastry on 5 November 2009 - 3:34 pm
Quote
I have always pondered if family is first what holds the other places. My placing would be slightly different to Fieldings:
1. Curry
2. Alcohol
3. Curry
4. ALDI chocolate biscuits
5. Youtube
6. Sick days
7. Annual Leave
8. bom.com
9. PS3
10. FAmily
I think my wife would agree that that is correct.
#13 by Northern Exposure on 5 November 2009 - 4:02 pm
Quote
bom.com is defo top ten for most people, anything to make Fifi Box redundant.
It’s nice to see this place treat Sen. Fielding with the respect he has earnt.