team@groupthink.com.au
Twitter
Facebook
A nation is gripped.
A nation pauses.
A nation punts.
A nation is united in breathless anticipation.
For today is the day. The day of days.
Who loses? Who wins?
What will happen?
WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO INTEREST RATES TODAY?!?!
Will they increase? Will they increase by one quarter of one part of one hundred parts? Or will it be two quarters of one part of one hundred parts?
And when the result is known, once more, on this day, like that other day back then and the other day farther back, the same dreary bloody voices from the same dreary bloody throats will form a gibbering chorus of tuneless bloody drear and drive otherwise sane men mad.
From out of their dingy hidey-holes they’ll come to cluster around the microphones and cameras of the nation to yabber at us about the economonotony and what this one or two quarters of one part of one hundred part increase means for the nation and its people.
So-called “battlers” will once more plop themselves into the spotlight, filmed in their $600,000 suburban homes (NO DEPOSIT! 100% FINANCE AVAILABLE! APPLY TODAY!) filled with 90” television sets and IKEA bookshelves and Freedom furniture (NO DEPOSIT! NOTHING TO PAY TILL 2011! APPLY TODAY!) to whine about how they’re going to have to make a few sacrifices in order to cope …
“We’re going to have to dress the children in toilet paper stuck together with cheeseburger wrappers and live in the skipbin behind Woolies again … Oh me. Oh my. Woe.”
And, in a couple more months and a couple more months after that, and a couple more, this sewer of babbling bullshit about INTEREST RATES will happen again and again and again and the nation and its people will continue to be transfixed.
For these are the burning issues of our lives now in this, the bestest country onna planet.
The dark hordes of “the other” descending on our shores from the north and fucking interest rates.
And what it means is this …
Sometimes the cost of a thing goes up. Sometimes the cost of a thing comes down.
Whoop-di–do.
Get over it and live in the fucking world.
#1 by Scott Bridges on 3 November 2009 - 10:38 am
Quote
I’m in awe of your double interrobang, Ross.
#2 by David Bonnici on 3 November 2009 - 2:33 pm
Quote
Even if they go up they’ll still be low, but that will be lost on many.
#3 by Ross Sharp on 3 November 2009 - 3:36 pm
Quote
One quarter of one part of one hundred parts.
We’ll all be living in humpies by Christmas.
#4 by Rx on 3 November 2009 - 5:36 pm
Quote
Australians may not be the stupidest, most spoiled people on the planet but they’re in the short-list. Look how hot and bothered they become over a few dozen boat people. FFS.
#5 by David F on 3 November 2009 - 5:37 pm
Quote
IKEA is the very model of a fascist furniture store. It’s hard not to imagine that there are some genocidal Swedes out there after a visit to IKEA.
Even if they go up they’ll still be low, but that will be lost on many.
People will also forget that they were at record lows, and that the RBA is charged with fighting inflation, not ensuring that people enter into mortgages that they can afford.
#6 by Mr Pastry on 3 November 2009 - 6:08 pm
Quote
Uninteresting rates – I fear you may have inspired next seasons catwalks with your cheeseburger wrapper outfits
#7 by Kevin Rennie on 3 November 2009 - 8:12 pm
Quote
Interest rates went up 7.69% today. About the same as labor’s vote declined in the oponion pole. Some of the MSM thought it was 14%. Damned numbers!
#8 by Scott Bridges on 4 November 2009 - 8:33 am
Quote
And in today’s Age:
#9 by Ross Sharp on 4 November 2009 - 9:46 am
Quote
A whole ten bucks?! That clinches it … “Ma, we’ll have to sell the baby to the Russian mafia if we wants to manage the mortgage”.
#10 by Mr Pastry on 4 November 2009 - 1:04 pm
Quote
That cheeseburger wrapper summer dress will have to be bit shorter than anticipated.
#11 by Molesworth on 4 November 2009 - 1:12 pm
Quote
I blame Rudd.
#12 by reb on 4 November 2009 - 2:20 pm
Quote
I blame Joe Hockey. He’s been talking about interest rates going up for what seems like an eternity now.
And he’s FAT.
And ugly.
#13 by Ross Sharp on 4 November 2009 - 2:27 pm
Quote
I blame Obama. I find it curious that interest rates went up on his first year anniversary as President/President elect – it’s a sure sign of a one-world socialist government of gay muslims in the making and Rudd is just a pawn in the conspiracy.
#14 by Mr Pastry on 4 November 2009 - 4:51 pm
Quote
I blame the numbering system that gave us a 2 and a 5 which is Arabic, this reinforces Ross Sharp’s recent expose on a one-world socialist government of gay muslims with it’s Headquarters in Wembley UK.
#15 by stace on 4 November 2009 - 5:03 pm
Quote
I blame cyclists, people who take their dogs to cafes, and the abject failure of governments to regulate window safety.
#16 by Ross Sharp on 4 November 2009 - 5:13 pm
Quote
Gay Muslim cyclists who smuggle HIV positive terrorist dogs in from Africa on boats which are trained to fly black helicopters and spike our lattes with the Ebola virus while we’re distracted reading lefty newspapers.
As for windows, why are they made from glass? Don’t people know pedophiles can look through glass? Windows should be made from concrete. To keep our children safe.
#17 by stace on 4 November 2009 - 5:42 pm
Quote
My new trendoid mock cheeseburger organza shift is getting a bit spungent in this unseasonably hot weather. I blame Ross.
#18 by Scott Bridges on 4 November 2009 - 5:43 pm
Quote
You’re all fools. Everything can be blamed on the Internet.
#19 by reb on 4 November 2009 - 5:52 pm
Quote
I blame energy saving light bulbs, and evil church-going old aged pensionshers with their mean-spirited pursed lips spewing vile invective.
But I think Stace might also be onto something with the windows…