Archive for November, 2009

In his balloon

While the Liberals are embroiled in a simply delicious leadership crisis as the tinfoil-hat-wearing conspiracy theorists try to hijack the party, it’s worth taking a look at this enlightening Tony Abbott interview on Lateline which took place not ten days ago:

TONY JONES: I hear what you’re saying about the earth having been hotter in different periods in its entire global history, but let me ask you this. Have you read the science that we’re talking about here – for example, have you read the IPCC’s report?

TONY ABBOTT: No, I don’t claim to have immersed myself deeply in all of these documents. I’m a politician. I have to rely on briefings – I have to rely on what I pick up through the secondary sources.

But look, I think I am as well versed on these matters as your average politician needs to be.

TONY JONES: But you have read Ian Plimer’s book.

TONY ABBOTT: I haven’t yet finished Ian Plimer’s book. I have started Ian Plimer’s book.

TONY JONES: But you have quoted it from time to time.

TONY ABBOTT: I’ve quoted a couple of passages, and I confess I’m probably more familiar with the book through people who’ve written about it than I am through having read it myself.

TONY JONES: What evidence do you have then for saying that the earth has cooled since the late 1990s.

TONY ABBOTT: Well, I am not setting myself up as the great expert here, but the Hadley Institute in Britain, which is apparently one of the most reputable of these measuring centres, according to press reports, has found that after heating up very significantly in the previous 25 years, there seems to have been a slight cooling, but at a high plateau I’ll accept that.

TONY JONES: That is Ian Plimer’s argument. So when you actually go…

TONY ABBOTT: This is the Hadley Centre – this is measurements.

TONY JONES: I’m about to tell you what the Hadley Centre actually says. When you go and look at what it says about global temperatures you’ll find that they say that the years 1998 to 2006 include the hottest, the second, the third, the fourth, the fifth and the sixth hottest years in recorded history.

TONY ABBOTT: And the hottest one was at the beginning and the less hot ones have been since.

And it goes on. To summarise:

  • Tony Abbott has not read the IPCC report.
  • But he has read Heaven & Earth.
  • But he’s only started it.
  • But he’s capable of reciting whole passages of it at the drop of a hat even though he hasn’t read it.
  • This is because he’s familiar with the book having read people who have written about it.

This is why Andrew Bolt being the intellectual beacon of Liberals is a good thing.

Bring on the next election.

4 Comments

Housing Andrew Bolt’s book

Trollumnist Andrew Bolt is not one given to modesty. Here he is today reviewing his own blog:

… more essential reading than ever.

His years-old “book” (can a collection of newspaper columns really be called a book?), on the other hand, was apparently not essential reading for one previous owner who gave or sold it to a second-hand book shop in Richmond where Ant Rogenous and I, along with a fellow Groupthinker, found it one day. Torn as to where the book should actually be displayed, we took some photos of said book in various sections of the store to see how it looked.

Read the rest of this entry »

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We are all sub-editors now: results

I know I promised to judge the caption competition, like, ages ago but sweet Jesus I done been busy. Plus it was my birthday yesterday so there’s a bit of hangover action going on right now. Anyway, a bunch of quality entries has produced the following results:

In third place is Ant Rogenous.

SUCKHOSEY: An ’ard man is good to find, no?

EASTWOOD: French toast please.

Ant wins the entire Clint Eastwood back catalogue on Betamax.

In second place is reb.

You can let go of my arm now Mister President. That’s your prostate exam all done for another year.

reb wins the piece of Berlin Wall that Sarkozy reckons he chipped off on the day of its fall.

And our winner is David Bonnici with this corker.

Clint Eastwood is shocked to discover that his orangutan co-star from Every Which Way But Loose is actually a surrender monkey.

Clint Eastwood is shocked to discover that his orangutan co-star from Every Which Way But Loose is actually a surrender monkey.

David wins Clint Eastwood’s orangutan co-star from Every Which Way But Loose.

Well done, everyone!

1 Comment

Jack off

In what has been described by experts as “reckless, irresponsible, highly disappointing, ridiculous and shocking”, a potentially fatal toxin was recently released to the Australian public and may have been unwittingly consumed by possibly tens of thousands of hapless victims.

It is understood that consumption of this toxin can lead to any or all of the following symptoms -

Chronic high blood pressure, heart attack, kidney failure, stroke, obesity, asthma, serious heart disease.

Leading Australian toxicologists have urged the public not to panic in the wake of the poison’s emergence but are advising caution be exercised in areas where the toxin has been located so far and is most likely to present itself, i.e. food halls and shopping malls.

Bruce Neal, acting Commander of The Sydney World Action on Bio-Genetic and Bio-Terrorist Terminal Toxins Unit demanded the Federal Government take immediate action to eliminate this threat to the health of the nation’s populace by taking such drastic measures as “restricting the ability of people to move freely in or through areas where the toxin is known to exist. We have had reports of people who have consciously chosen to consume this poisonous substance, of their own free will, and we call on the Prime Minister as a matter of utmost urgency to take whatever action may be needed to put a halt to this behaviour immediately and to stop any further spread of this deadly material throughout the wider community. If the military need be bought in, so be it.”

Tony Thirlwell, chief executive of the Poking Our Fingers In Your Chest And Wagging Them In Your Face And Nagging You Till You Die Foundation added that “we run the risk here of cultivating a culture of death if we continue to allow this type of thing to happen. I call on the Prime Minister and the Federal Government to launch an immediate Senate inquiry into how this situation has been allowed to arise.”

Family First Senator Steve Fielding told a media pack last night that he had consumed the substance in question during play lunch the day before, but that it would not prevent him from carrying out his day-to-day parliamentary duties. When asked what effect the poison had had on him, Senator Fielding replied “My pants hurt and I blew a hole in my favourite Snoopy doona”.

Pastor Danny Nahlia of Catch The Fire Ministries also said a few things, none of which made the slightest bit of sense, and a large number of people simply wondered why all these other people couldn’t simply shut the fuck up and mind their own fucking business for once in their miserable fucking lives and stop making out that some shitty bloody hamburger is going bring down civilisation as we know it.

Pass the chips.

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Two words

It's time

It's time

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The ETS for Dummies

What is the ETS?
ETS stands for Emissions Trading Scheme, which means that companies will have to pay for credits to create pollution.

Why?
To combat climate change caused by man-made carbon emissions. The idea is if companies have to pay to pollute they will pollute less; the climate will stop changing and baby polar bears will live to become big polar bears allowing them to scavenge through Alaskan rubbish tips.

But companies pollute because they make things or produce power. How will they be able to keep providing us with their important products and services?
This is the smart bit. They will pay the ETS and the government will give them the money back so they can continue what they’re doing to protect jobs and working families. At the same time they will pass the ETS costs to the consumer which means some polluting companies and industries will be better off under an ETS despite not actually reducing their carbon footprint.

That’s fucked!  
That’s your interpretation shithead, but at least the government will look like it’s doing something to stop climate change.

But will an ETS stop climate change? Surely once the Antarctic sheds millions of tons of ice and sea levels rise there’s not much we can do to stop it. It’s like trying to stop a freight train with a wet kipper.

You know, for a dummy you’re a smart-arsed little fucker! Listen, this isn’t about stopping climate change it’s about feeling good that we’re doing our best without having to actually give up anything that causes pollution. We’ll still use electricity and drive cars, but we’ll do it safe in the knowledge that it really gives conservatives the shits.

You’re a deranged lefty idiot. This isn’t about climate change at all, it’s about idealism.
Oh, do fuck off!

4 Comments

A story that ought to be told

For materialists, ideas, ‘culture’, etc, are derived from, or, at the very least, have a basis in social and economic relations.

We know that relations socials and economic have changed greatly over the couple of decades, and nowhere more so than in those states formerly behind the Iron Curtain. The push toward what Australia’s PM calls ‘neoliberalism’ – namely, the alliance between government and capital against workers – has occurred everywhere, but has arguably been most ruthlessly pursued in many of the ex-communist states.

Maggie Thatcher, one of the leading practitioners of neoliberalism, famously quipped that ‘there is no such thing as society’. Perhaps she is being proven correct, in that societies have teetered on the brink of collapse directly in proportion to what geographer David Harvey calls ‘the commodification of everything’. Harvey argues that ‘the destruction of forms of social solidarity … leaves a gaping hole in the social order’, for which the ‘inevitable response is to reconstruct social solidarities’ leads to a revival of nationalism, fascism, and ‘authoritarian populism’. This blowback is the corollary of universal freedom of enterprise.

It is apropos of economic turmoil and social collapse that I bring you this story from Bulgaria, concerning a 23-year old Sydney man named Jock Palfreeman. The media has given Palfreeman’s situation little coverage, but The Daily Telegraph had this story:

Read the rest of this entry »

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So some academics’ emails have been hacked …

… and a lot of conservatives and right-wing ‘libertarians’ are getting very excited. It seems a hacker has obtained the private email correspondence of researchers who were looking at AGW. The candid comments found therein (always quoted out of context by said conservatives/libertarians, of course) are supposedly further proof that claims about AGW are merely a hoax, and that the science is a scam.

From what I can see of the emails, they prove no such thing. What they do demonstrate, however, is that scientists, and science itself, are fallible, and subject to the vicissitudes of personality and politics (broadly speaking), just like every other aspect of life. To construct an entire conspiracy theory out of this decades-old fact is to therefore be clutching at straws.

None of this ought to be news for the conservatarians, or anybody else, for that matter, except the former have an irrational fear and hatred of all things that smell even vaguely pomo. Because of this, some fairly basic points, such as science being fallible, or occurring within a context that is full of contingencies, are likely to be new and unfamiliar, despite these points having been made, in different ways,  some time ago.

Indeed, Kuhn argued long ago that ‘more than one theoretical construction can always be placed upon a given collection data’, and that ‘personal and historical accident is always a formative ingredient of the beliefs espoused by a given scientific community at a given time’.

Note also that, whatever the purported sins of these AGW scientists from East Bumcrack, their scientific failings are utterly trivial when compared to the shenanigans of Big Pharma, for instance, about whom the conservatarians are entirely silent.

We can expect to see plenty more about this on the blogosphere. (Larvatus Prodeo has a thread here — the comments are interesting, though the post itself pulls its punches, IMHO). This is what constitutes a scientific scandal when an entire generation of computer-literate conservatarians have been getting their ’science’ from Andrew Bolt and Ann Coulter.

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Workers of the world, open your wallets …

This article caught my eye yesterday:

Australians work more than two billion hours of unpaid overtime a year, a $72 billion gift to their employers, a new study by an independent think tank shows.

The Australian Institute research shows a typical full-time employee is working 70 minutes of unpaid overtime a day, which equates to 33 eight-hour days per year, or six-and-a-half standard working weeks.

Across the workforce, the 2.14 billion hours of unpaid overtime represented six per cent free labour for the economy depends.

“While Australians might have a reputation for taking ’sickies’ and ’smokos’, the evidence suggests otherwise,” the institute’s executive director Richard Denniss said when releasing the research on Wednesday.

During the past decade Australia had simply accepted the “dubious honour” of working the longest hours in the western world, when other developed countries had sought to reduce working hours.

“The amount of unpaid overtime worked in Australia is the equivalent of 1.16 million full-time jobs,” Dr Denniss said.

“In an economy where unemployment is rising, overwork is an obvious area for government to address.”

The survey found 45 per cent of workers, and more than half of all full-time employees, work more hours than they are paid for on a typical workday.

The online survey of 1,000 respondents, commissioned by the institute, found that 44 per cent of people who work unpaid overtime said it is “compulsory” or “expected”.

Slightly fewer (43 per cent) said overtime was “not expected” but also “not discouraged”.

Australians also work three times more hours or unpaid overtime than they volunteer to community organisations.

In response to its findings, the institute has nominated November 25 as national Go Home On Time Day.

This research is merely confirming what plenty of us know already. In short, a majority of Australian workers are doing charity work for their bosses by compulsion, or, at the very least,  without explicitly agreeing. Most workers are subject to theft, in other words.

Dr Denniss, the executive director of the crowd who published this research, suggests that the problem is one for government to address. He neglects to mention that government has been addressing the issue of overwork for years — addressing it by entrenching it in the labour market and economy at large. This is still the case, in spite of the Federal ALP’s new and ‘radical’ IR laws. For all the histrionic talk of union thuggery, the unions of Australia are barely able to cope with serious OHS matters, much less run a campaign against overwork.

Rather than have some Mickey Mouse ‘Go Home on Time Day’, workers should be going home on time every day, unless there’s a damned good reason. Miserliness of one’s employer is not such a reason.  The GFC was always likely to encourage employers to intensify their exploitation of staff. And rather than relying upon the benevolence of employers in order to finish work on time, workers should consider staging a ‘Tell the Boss to Fuck Off’ day.

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You know, you don’t have to speak out loud. I can hear your thoughts

Brains, we all need them and we all have one, except donors. Now, everyone is getting behind Hari and Krishna the joined together at the head twins (who share a brain) who are well and truly milking their 15 minutes of fame. They’ve got front covers, they’ve got spreads, they’ve got themselves preemptively photoshopped apart like a Jenny Craig ad before and after shot.

Aparts from the inevitable talkshow tour (the circus freak circuit for the modern times) how are Hari and Krishna going to pay for this operation. Does they have a Medicare or Health Care card? Did they cue jump the waiting list ahead of all the other joined at the head twins who didn’t think to get a publisicist? Are we as tax payers going to have to foot the bill for more cosmetic elective surgery for the rich and famous? (I had to pay for my third penis reduction operation out of my own pocket)

I raise some interesting questions about this social dilemma. But the first question I put to Wayne when we were belting out a ding from his Holden Belmont was, who are we as humans and who are GP’s to decide if joined together at the head twins want to be separated? Should we really be playing God? This is not the Milton and Bradley game “Operations”. You don’t get a zap if you fuck it up, you get headaches all around and ethical dilemmas even Peter Singers would’t debate.

I am like the voice of my generation.  I drink Big M’s, I eat Chiko Rolls and I watch Ladette to Lady (the Aussie version) and shake my head and what thePoms are doing to our birds. And If I was a joined together at the head twin I wouldn’t want to have the attention removed along with my other head.

Do you remember in the Superman 2 film when he gave his powers up the he could root that bird? Well he couldnt wait to get back to being faster than speeding bullet again (not a premature ejaculator). The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Once Hari And Krishna become “normal” (they are still Indian though) these Children’s Charity’s will cast them aside while they give attention to the three headed twins.

And we all know two heads are better than one.

*Get out of Jail free card: if one of or both of the twins die or end up like Wayne and Collingwood supporters then I then I reserve the right not to cop the sway of public rightiouness and indignation. I was merely debating the topic and not the twins.

7 Comments