One of the richest seams of online gold is the worldwide network of freaky, right-wing “news” sites. A lot of them are American, sure, but here in Australia we have our own rag-tag flotilla of mysteriously cashed-up outlets, publishing fringe garbage for an audience measuring in the dozens. I’ll try to introduce you to some local and international touchstones over coming weeks.
We start with Human Events. Never heard of it? Here’s a short, introductory video.
“As long as I can remember…”
Anyhow, Human Events comes out of Washington DC, both in dead tree and Web 0.9 formats. It features a number of eminent columnists, including the one and only Ann Coulter.
Their grabby-hooky “thing” is a weekly Top Ten list, a highly original feature. This is the funnest part of this otherwise ranty, sludgy and predictable outlet, but mostly because it reveals so much about the wingnut mind.
The undisputed classic in this column was 2005′s “most harmful books” top ten, which was voted on by a bunch of conservative luminaries. The Communist Manifesto, Mein Kampf and Quotations from Chairman Mao are the top three, and fair enough you might say. But John Dewey? Betty Friedan? The Kinsey Report? Keynes’s General Theory?
Then you get to the “Honourable Mentions”. Charles Darwin gets two entries – The Origin of Species and The Descent of Man. Poor old John Stuart Mill gets a jersey with On Liberty. Perhaps Rachel Carson’s Silent Spring was no surprise, but I was a little puzzled that the brains trust had put Margaret Mead’s Coming of Age in Samoa and Ralph Nader’s Unsafe At Any Speed at similar levels on the pernicious-o-meter. You’re left wondering what’s on the bookshelf at the Human Events bunker. Now that Readers’ Digest has gone bust, presumably it’s just the King James, Conscience of a Conservative and Atlas Shrugged.
That should show well enough what we’re dealing with here. All of the other top ten lists are also directed at correcting Liberal Bias. A couple of weeks back they took on sex scandals. They got Bill Clinton and John Edwards in there, along with every Democrat pantsman ever. They only mention one (liberal) Republican, Nelson Rockefeller, who died on the job, (like our own late, lamented Billy Snedden).
Why? It’s not like this year alone hasn’t produced enough Republican sex scandals to fill out half the top ten. Just for starters, there’s John Ensign, the Nevada senator, and his extramarital affair, and the fact that the freaking Governor of South Carolina went AWOL on Father’s Day to tryst with his Argentinian mistress.
And then, of course, there’s Alan David Berlin, a long-time aide to a Republican State Senator in Pennsylvania, who was arrested in May this year. What did he do? Well, he
contacted a fifteen year old boy over the internet, and offered to “yiff” the boy in a panda outfit, while his parents weren’t home. The parents discovered the graphic emails on the boy’s computer and called the attorney general’s child predator unit sometime in May. Police raided his home and discovered various furry outfits such as a wolf costume, as well as a cat outfit; all complete with two holes cut out at the undersides of the costumes. He is now arraigned in Dauphin County jail on a $250,000 bail.
Now why would Human Events leave that one out?

#1 by stace on 29 October 2009 - 11:57 am
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Maybe my anatomy is not so good, or perhaps I just need to get out more, but why TWO holes?
#2 by Molesworth on 29 October 2009 - 12:08 pm
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One to go in. One to go out.
#3 by stace on 29 October 2009 - 12:29 pm
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Oh. Quite right there, Molesworth. As you can tell, that whole thing with the man-boy-love-association-in-a-furry-animal-outfit is not exactly my specialty subject.
#4 by Molesworth on 29 October 2009 - 12:48 pm
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I burrowed and found his LiveJournal: http://furrypanda.livejournal.com/
He didn’t quite keep it a secret whom he worked for:
#5 by Jason on 29 October 2009 - 1:05 pm
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LiveJournal too? Throw away the key.
#6 by Ant Rogenous on 29 October 2009 - 1:30 pm
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Charles Darwin might very well have reconsidered his theory of evolution had he know that a century after his death, a bunch of dipshits would be putting their names to this drivel.
That said, Che Guevara’s Motorcycle Diaries got stiffed missing out on a gong for Most Dangerous Travel Book.
#7 by THR on 29 October 2009 - 1:44 pm
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I blogged about the book thing a while back:
http://lacomplaintedupartisan.blogspot.com/2007/06/engage-in-bit-of-self-harm.html
A couple of points (at least) are worth making. They put the Commie Manifesto as the most dangerous book of all time. Most developed nations, for most of the 20th Century have implemented most of Marx and Engel’s key demands from the Manifesto, which include universal suffrage, progressive income tax, public education (and by extension, health), state ownership of certain infrastructure, etc. It’d be curious to see which of these positions these clowns would like to overturn in the US.
Putting in Keynes is particularly risible here, given that he was in no way a lefty. What he did advocate was deficit spending in times of recession, which is precisely what every rich country on the planet implemented after the free market guff wouldn’t fly any more.
#8 by Campbell on 29 October 2009 - 3:53 pm
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That’s top notch editing on the Reagan clip.
#9 by skeptic on 29 October 2009 - 3:57 pm
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I loved this bit about John Dewey:
His views had great influence on the direction of American education–particularly in public schools–and helped nurture the Clinton generation.
WTF, there’s a Clinton generation?
#10 by Tobias Ziegler on 29 October 2009 - 7:00 pm
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Agreed. It’s no secret that he played around a bit, but I wouldn’t have thought he could knock up that many women.
#11 by Jason on 30 October 2009 - 10:48 am
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“GREETINGS, FELLOW CONSERVATIVES”
#12 by Campbell on 30 October 2009 - 3:45 pm
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“Greetings to the people. This General Field Marshall Cinque Mtume…”