You have to feel for Brendan Nelson, who was once just one step, plus a political generation and an additonal 49 per cent approval points, from being the Prime Minister of the Commonwealth of Australia.

It’s sad that a man who is a doctor, wore an earring, rides a motorbike and plays guitar was never a serious contender for the highest office of the land (if you don’t include AFL CEO).

Even sadder was the way he spent his last day in his electorate; holding up a hastily written sign saying “thank you” to the people of Bradfield whom he served for 14 years.

Through a teary eye and endlessly furrowed brow, he must have felt heartened as passing drivers beeped their horns, blissfully unaware that someone had written “honk if you’re horny” on his placard.

Sadder still was Brendan’s going away party, where as guest of honour he was upstaged by estranged partners John Howard and Peter Costello.

You have to feel for Brendan. Who hasn’t had a party where they had to invite a couple of friends who just split up, only for that to become the biggest issue?

I can imagine him calling John Howard to invite him Little Johnny saying “eeeh, will Peter be there?”

“Yes John,” replies Brendon.

“Do I have to sit near him?”

“No, you don’t even have to talk to him. You’re both my friends so please don’t make me choose. Do it for me. Please?”

A similar conversation probably ensued with the former treasurer

“Is he bringing that bitch Jeanette?” Pete may or may not have asked.

The Australian reported that when Howard and Costello were reunited in their first public appearance together since the 2007 election loss and Brendan’s soiree there were no outstretched hands from either man when they came within range.

Jesus, there must be some really bad blood there.

In Liberal Party terms that’s as serious as what happened at my friend Livio’s 18th birthday party; attended by then newly separated couple Mick Wikowski and Sharon Zammit.

Sharon threw West Coast Cooler in Mick’s face when she saw him chatting up another girl. Mick, his eyes burning, called Sharon a slut causing her to throw a plastic chair at him. Boy was Livio’s mum angry.

Let’s hope Brendan had a good night and was able to secure the limelight long enough before all the talk was on whether or not Johnny would attend Pete’s farewell.