Health still in a half-baked crisis

A few months ago I had the misfortune to require the services of a hospital and the experience has ultimately had a huge impact on health policy in this country. Susan was taking the kids to the cinema but I wasn’t allowed to go because it was an M-rated film so I was staying home alone. She made me some lunch and put it on a plate in the microwave with a Post-it note arrow stuck next to the keypad, and left on the table a John Farnham, Live In Concert DVD for me to watch. I love staying home alone because I can be totally independent and do what I want.

Having successfully re-heated my food after five frustrating minutes spent realising that I had to press the button next to the Post-in note arrow, not the arrow itself, I settled down in the lounge room to watch the DVD. But all of a sudden disaster struck when I stuck the DVD into the VHS machine without even thinking! What an idiot! Panicking, I frantically pressed EJECT on the remote control and the machine itself, but the disc wouldn’t come out. I changed the batteries and tried again but still nothing! I called Susan to ask what to do but her phone was on silent inside the cinema. Breathing deep to keep the anxiety at bay I knew it was time for some creative thinking.

Read the rest of this entry »

7 Comments

The nude bomb

You are probably all familiar by now with the recent mass nude Spencer Tunick photo shoot at Sydney’s Opera House that appeared to go off without a hitch, and was enjoyed and applauded by all with no instances of gross perversions reported.

However, one Queenslander was so outraged by this event that he was moved to fire off a letter to today’s Sydney Morning Herald

How many people were arrested for indecent exposure in a public place? From the lack of media reports, none. That the police allowed this disgraceful display calls into question their ability to enforce the law. Are they afraid to do that? That the citizens of this once great city appear not to have protested calls into question their level of support for immorality in their midst. This was not art, it was grubby voyeurism at its worst. – David Stevens, Sunnybank Hills (Qld)

To which I was moved to fire off a response …

Re yesterday’s letter from David Stevens of Sunnybank Hills, Queensland protesting the “disgraceful”, “grubby voyeurism” and “immorality” of the recent Spencer Tunick photo shoot, I would like it be known that I am not native to Queensland, I only work here. – Ross Sharp, (Qld)

You’ve no idea how many times over the past five years I’ve felt it necessary to point this out.

5 Comments

A Breef History of Australia by Christopher Abbott, Year 8

Captain Cook was a noble Englishman who discovered Australia in 1770, and a bit later another noble Englishman called Phillip put a colony here which was made of British people who were sent here because they had pinched some bread and stuff.

When Mr. Cook came here, there were boongs coons niggers Abo’s here who ate their babies and threw spears at him. Also, they ran around without any clothes on which is not right, that’s what pedo’s do.

So when the British people all got here, they killed the pedo boongs coons niggers blacks and told them to stop eating their babies, they should eat a pie instead.

After we became a country we went to some wars, and our greatest acheivment ever was fighting at Gallopy, where we would have won if it weren’t for a bunch of wogs who shot at us.

Then we went to another war, and we won that one because the wogs were dumber and we were smarter.

We didn’t do very well in Viettnam, but that was only because of the chinks.

Our great hereoes are Robert Menzies who was a Prime Minister ages ago, John Howard who was Prime Minister forever, Don Bradman who was very good at cricket, Kerry Packer gave us colour television and Rupert Murdoch who made “Avatar” which is fucking AWESOME X 1,000!!! thohgh my little brother got sick in the Hoyts from all the 3D and threw up over an old lady.

My Dad told me that our country is fucked buggered not going too well actually these days because of all the wogs and chinks we’ve let in. When all the lebo’s were raping Aussie women in Cronulla beach, my Dad went down there and told me that he punched a lebo in the face really hard and blood came out and the lebo ran away. We had pizza that night and Dad let me have a beer which was nice.

Dad told me that once we had a policy to keep all the wogs out, but some communists got rid of that and said we should hug queers and let women kill their babies which is against God who said queers should be put to death.

Anyway, the teacher told me I had to do at least one qwarto page for this essay and now I am at the end, so that’s all I can do about Australian history for now, also Mum is yelling at me to get my fucking arse out to the kitchen because dinner is ready.

On Tuesdays we get Chinese food from Lings, and Mum lets me have some wine from her cask which is nice (fruity lexia it is called).

I really like the mongrel lamb and spring rolls a lot, with the pink sauce.

7 Comments

Is there such a thing as “citizen journalists”?

There’s been some debate on Twitter during the past week about the role of so-called “citizen journalists” and whether they even have the right to be blessed with the J-word. This then went into further discussion as to what makes a journalist, a question that doesn’t really have a simple answer.

Working journalists would argue that their craft is specialised and comes with appropriate qualifications. But, unlike law and medicine, the little piece of paper you get at the end of a journalism degree or cadetship is by no means an exclusive requirement needed to embark on a journalism career.

I think the key to the whole debate rests in the definition of a journalist, which is someone who processes information, weeds out fact from fiction and then presents it a manner which is understandable and informative to the user. This is where the notion of the “citizen journalist” falls over when it comes to describing someone relaying information online via blogs, Twitter and other social media.

During the weekend’s tsunami scare I saw a tweet that could be described as citizen journalism:

CometDudeOur PA system in Okinawa Japan just announced Tsunami warning. evacuate to higher ground #tsunami #okinawa

This is the kind of classic on-the-spot post during a major breaking story that made Twitter famous. But is it journalism? No, it’s not.

  • Sure, CometDude is providing important information here, but where’s the detail?
  • What sort of tsunami warning has been issued?
  • Does the warning include an order to evacuate to higher ground, or is this CometDude’s own advice?
  • What is higher ground; the top end of the street or the summit of Mt Fuji?
  • And finally, how do we know this is even true?

Sure, there is a limit to what one can write in 140 characters, which makes the case against this being classed as journalism even stronger.

Simply relaying what you’re seeing, or hearing is not journalism, it’s Citizen Commentary, and no different to eyewitness sound bites we see on the news. If that is journalism than “Chk-Chk Boom Girl” Claire Werbeloff might as well join the MEAA.

It could be argued they’re reporters. But reporting involves a lot more than just relaying what you see. It involves gathering such quotes and checking them against other facts before using them in a package to present the story.

Ironically, this is being compromised in order to keep up with the internet. The result is information coming out through supposedly credible news sources before its verified, meaning that basic tenet of journalism, to weed out fact from fiction, is being sacrificed for the sake of providing up-to-the-minute content.

So, yeah, maybe one day the term Citizen Journalist will apply instead of Citizen Commentator, but sadly this will be because the standards that once defined true journalism will sink to its level.

3 Comments

Internet v3.0, a preview

December 12, 2010

Re: Internet usage infringement notification

Dear Mr. Sharp,

Thank you for choosing iiNET as your service provider.

In accordance with current Federal Government Communications regulations, we are now obliged to examine the browsing history of all iiNET customers to ensure that appropriate community standards of decency are being maintained and that inappropriate, obscene, illegal or offensive material is not being accessed.

On October 14, 2010, you accessed a YouTube page containing the words “Adolescent Sex”. Before we report this information to the appropriate Federal authorities, we seek clarification about the type of material you were accessing and would request you contact us immediately to provide us with further information.

Kind Regards,
The Team at iiNET

Read the rest of this entry »

2 Comments

In a filing cabinet at the tax office

At least it's not in crayon

At least it's not in crayon

4 Comments

Adams vs Trevor – Updated: See Update

Avid readers of my debates will immediately recall like a thousand startled gazzals my “Proof they are amongst us” post where I discovered crop circles in Traralgon and I had won the Skeptical Societies $100,000 prize from Phillip Adams for proof of paranormal activity. Well, I have some disappointing news. It looks like Phillip Adams may be broke because he won’t give me a direct answer. I emailed him (I won’t display the entire contents of his email for privacy reasons) and got this response:

Read the rest of this entry »

5 Comments

Problems solved

Facebook has been used to say nasty things. There are calls to ban its use by certain people and in certain situations.

Fair enough. Let’s follow this through to its obvious conclusion.

Swearing

Swearing

To be banned:

  • Speaking
  • Air

Read the rest of this entry »

1 Comment

Nation’s Pride

I have seen the future according to federal opposition leader Tony Abbott and, as far as I’m concerned, it’s a load of wussy, namby-pamby, half-arsed faggy bollocks.

I for one, and I’m sure I speak for a multitude, if not the vast and overwhelming majority of honest, decent, hard-working, God-fearing Aussie blokes and sheilas are fed up to the fucking back teeth with these bludging toe-rags on welfare. Why the fuck should my taxes be used to subsidise the lifestyle choices of doddery old cunts and cripples and retards and latte-sipping lazy leftist shitheads from the inner-city who are more motivated by the thought of going out and getting another fucking tattoo or piercing than they are by getting a fucking job?

Fuck the lot of them, that’s what I reckon, and if Bud Abbott wants my vote, this is what he really ought to be proposing …

Read the rest of this entry »

8 Comments

Everyone Likes a Usefull Invention

To keep in the spotlight of the Public one (me) has to punch through the various form of technology that surround us. Edison did it with the wireless then Florey did it with the Telephone, then Philo Taylor Farnsworth (I googled that) did it with the tele and Ron Jeremy did it with the Beta Max and Which leads us to the Internet That Al Gore invented (i googled that too) and Kevin Rudd did it with the dial up Internet (which I think is great because I can click on a page then go to the fridge, get a 44oml Woodstock bourbon can and drink it and come back and my email is almost loaded). Now I have invented something…  wait until I finish my fucken introduction.

Now there’s only one bloke who is more popular than me, has more fans than me, has been arrested and sent to jail more than me, has more de factos than me, drinks more piss than me, has been admitted to hospital for drinking more piss than me, has more Topical Debates than me,has written more novels than me, has recieved more death threats by Mick Gatto than me, has been abused with more obsenities than me and has appeared on Dancing With The Stars more than me. And that bloke is Hinchy or Derryn or The Human Headline.

Before Hinchy gives his Topical Debates on the wireless he types them up on his IBM and then reads them out on the air. It’s a little trick he uses to make people think he is doing it off his cuffs. Which brings me too my invention:…. (Drum Roll).

I would like to announce this press release via this Website that I will be making what is called a TrevorCast. When ever I feel the world needs to hear my editorials I will type them up and read them out to what is called an MP player. I don’t know How to send that out to the Internet but I can mail it for a small fee.

Stay tuned to that dial.

Trevor

4 Comments